23 Tweets That Accurately Capture The Hell That Is Modern Dating

Why doesn’t anybody love me the way people on Catfish love strangers who won’t video chat

— Michaela (@MichaelaOkla) July 11, 2018

I just swiped right on so many girls without getting a match that I looked around to see if I was on a subway without service.

— Jared Freid (@jtrain56) July 16, 2018

i don’t get how u cheat on a significant other. like how do you get 2 different ppl to like u. how

— touc schrute (@aspiringtoucan) July 2, 2018

Dating apps should make men state if they own the dog in their photos or if it is someone elses, if not things can get ugly quite quickly.

— JDA (@the__littleman) August 19, 2017

There’s plenty of fish in the sea but you know what else there is? TRASH. There is a lot of trash in the sea.

— Crystal 🤘🏽 (@25Average_) July 12, 2018

Day 329 without sex: I went to Starbucks just so I could hear somebody scream my name

— ryki (@ryankii) July 14, 2018

EVERY girl got a dude in her DM talking to himself...

— Nando (@RealNandoAve) June 1, 2018

The best part of a relationship is the very beginning when you haven't met yet and your still single

— A.Jay (@A_JAYOFFICIAL) September 19, 2017

being single is all fun and games until you realise it’s a never ending cycle of getting to know someone, they eventually stop texting you, then they watch your Instagram story every day until you die

— senorita ugly (@bex_bambi) June 12, 2018

Me: why am I single
Me: declines every date, takes 3-5 business days to answer text, shows no emotion, can't parallel park

— Alyssa DiVincenzo (@alyssadivinc) March 8, 2017

A guy on Tinder said “would love to meet for a drink and hear your views”

On what? Keynesian macroeconomics? How Cameron Diaz is slept on as a comic actor?

— shon faye. (@shonfaye) May 9, 2018

If you’re on a first date and make the other person laugh, I think a good thing to ask right after that is “Do you like me?”

— Kevin Farzad (@KevinFarzad) May 28, 2018

"hey I saw you on tinder but we didn't match so I found your instagram you're so beautiful you don't need to wear all that makeup ahah I bet you get a lot of creepy dm's but I'm not like all those other guys message me back beautiful btw whats your snap" pic.twitter.com/XDLj2FyqZP

— gracie hoos (@cottoncandaddy) April 6, 2018

Dating after 30 is like "Are we doing this or not?" I got shit to do.

— 🌊 (@mattwhitlockPM) December 30, 2017

Idk y men go to bars to meet women

Go to Target.

The female to male ratio is 10 to 1 & they’re already looking for things they don’t need.

— Joey (@xj_swaggax) May 29, 2017

*gets ghosted*

Me: thank you for the 15-day free trial

— Lil Slimè (@THEMYSTICS13) July 11, 2018

One time a guy on Tinder said "I'll let you be the funny one" and I'm just so relieved to finally have permission

— Eileen Mary 😎’Connell (@i_Lean) December 24, 2017

guys are over here like "yeah uh in my opinion the perfect female body is like a victoria's secret model but with 3x bigger boobs" and girls are over here like "mmm dad bods are literally just fine just please respect us" and guys are over here like "no"

— jake (@squidslippers) July 14, 2018

“Coaches don’t play”👌🏼💯🤷🏻‍♂️ pic.twitter.com/w8ehF1fdTe

— 👑 (@unko_kama) July 9, 2018

day 489 without sex: the demon i see in the corner of my room when i have sleep paralysis lookin kinda cute now ngl

— ѕαм ◡̈ (@sxmmie) July 7, 2018

The way I see it, the guy should ALWAYS pay for the first date, just to even things out. Have you been inside a Sephora? An eye shadow palette is about 45 bucks — that's five times the price of mozzarella sticks.

— The Captain (@sgrstk) March 31, 2018

I went to redownload Bumble and I accidentally searched Burger King.

Guys, this app is way better and easier.

— Jared Freid (@jtrain56) July 12, 2018

My next relationship I’m not putting cute contact names in my phone. I’m gunna put “We’ll see” 😂

— Eddie Llamas (@llamas_edward) February 3, 2018