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Feminist Pastor Unveils Vulva Sculpture Made Of Old Purity Rings

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Months after Lutheran pastor Nadia Bolz-Weber issued a call for Christian feminists to send her their old “purity” rings, the once-discarded jewelry has been completely transformed.

The purity rings ― symbols of an abstinence pledge ― were melted or pounded down and reshaped into a sculpture of a vulva emerging from a throne of flames.

Bolz-Weber, the progressive Christian theologian and writer behind the project, unveiled the sculpture on Thursday at the 2019 conference for Makers, a feminist media brand

Purity rings were a cultural phenomenon that emerged in certain evangelical Christian communities during the 1990s and 2000s. They symbolized a promise to abstain from sex until marriage. Critics argue that the rings, and purity culture more broadly, taught young people to feel shameful about their sexuality and suggested that a person’s sexual thoughts and choices ultimately determined their spiritual standing in the eyes of God. There was also no room for queer love within this theology.

Bolz-Weber was the founding pastor of House for All Sinners and Saints, a queer-inclusive Lutheran congregation in Denver. Although she was raised in a fundamentalist Christian family, the pastor has become a prominent voice in progressive Christian circles.

The vulva sculpture project ― part of a promotion for Shameless, Bolz-Weber’s recently published book about sex and Christianity ― sought to prove that symbols of a harmful and patriarchal theology can be reclaimed.

Bolz-Weber told HuffPost that the purity rings’ transformation reminded her of Bibleverses describing a utopia where people “beat their swords into plowshares.”

“It’s actually part of the tradition, that we can take objects that have harmed us and turn them into objects that help heal and sustain us,” the pastor said.

Colorado-based artist Nancy Anderson was responsible for transforming the rings into a vulva sculpture. Bolz-Weber told HuffPost that they received about 170 purity rings from all over the country, many accompanied by notes revealing more about the people who had worn them.

One ring was sent by a woman who wrote she remembered attending a purity ball with her father when she was just 11 years old, Bolz-Weber said. Another woman said she had gotten a second purity ring because she felt ashamed to wear the original after a sexual assault. One woman revealed that she faithfully wore her purity ring until her wedding day, believing in the church’s promise that this was God’s will. But the marriage apparently turned out to be “miserable,” Bolz-Weber said, and the woman mailed in her wedding ring.

Most of the purity rings people sent in were sterling silver. Those rings were melted into the vulva sculpture. The silver vulva sits atop red flames, meant to evoke a “Phoenix,” Bolz-Weber said.

Rings made from other materials were pounded and woven into a heart and wings in the middle of the sculpture. On the bottom, the word “Freedom” is spelled out in metal.

On Thursday, Bolz-Weber presented the sculpture to activist Gloria Steinem at the 2019 Makers conference. (Makers and HuffPost share a parent company.) The pastor said that Steinem’s writings on feminism and women’s bodies “changed my life.” 

Bolz-Weber said she hopes the sculpture sends a message of “healing.”

“Our stories are our own. We don’t get to choose what happens to us, but we do get to decide what it means,” she said.

Gloria Steinem and Nadia Bolz-Weber appear during The 2019 MAKERS Conference on February 7, 2019 in Dana Point, California.

Ex-Trump Aide Paul Manafort Lied To Investigators In Russia Probe, Judge Rules

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Former campaign chairman Paul Manafort lied to federal investigators, a U.S. District judge ruled.

Former Trump campaign chairman Paul Manafort lied to federal investigators multiple times, breaching his plea deal, a judge ruled on Wednesday.

U.S. District Judge Amy Berman Jackson agreed with special counsel Robert Mueller’s assessment that Manafort, 69, violated the terms of a plea deal, willfully lying multiple times to the FBI and federal investigators.

“Therefore, the Office of Special Counsel is no longer bound by its obligations under the plea agreement, including its promise to support a reduction of the offense level in the calculation of the U.S. Sentencing Guidelines for acceptance of responsibility,” Berman wrote in her ruling.

Mueller’s team initially argued that Manafort had told “multiple discernible lies” that were ”not instance of mere memory lapses″ in court filings from December. Berman agreed on several counts, saying the former campaign manager had lied about his interactions with a Russian associate with ties to the Kremlin, Konstantin Kilimnik, about a payment made to cover his legal bills and on another matter to the Justice Department about a separate investigation.

The judge sided with Manafort on two of Mueller’s claims, saying there was not enough evidence to prove he misled investigators about Kilimnik or that he lied about his contacts with Trump administration officials.

Manafort’s original deal with the special counsel stipulated that he fully cooperate with Mueller’s inquiry into Russian interference in the 2016 presidential election and that he “must at all times give complete, truthful, and accurate information and testimony, and must not commit, or attempt to commit, any further crimes.”

The agreement also said that if Manafort were to breach the deal, he would still be bound by his guilty plea, but the government “will be released from its obligations.” Such a breach could add years to Manafort’s sentencing, and his hearing on the matter is set to begin next month.

He was convicted last year of eight felonies, including tax and bank fraud, and later decided to cooperate with Mueller’s office after pleading guilty to two other conspiracy charges.

This article has been updated with details on the plea deal.

 

'Frozen 2' Teaser Trailer Is Finally Here And We Can't Let It Go

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Do you want to see a teaser trailer? Come on, let’s go and click “play.” 

We’d like to say that the wait for the follow-up to Disney’s record-breaking “Frozen” didn’t bother us. But ever since fans were introduced to Princess Elsa (Idina Menzel) and the world of Arendelle in the 2013 movie, they’ve yet to let it go. 

The teaser trailer for the highly anticipated sequel “Frozen 2” arrived on Wednesday, giving a peek at what all your favorite characters have been up to for these last six years. 

 Elsa is apparently still honing her powers that allow her to control and create ice, spending the first beats of the trailer trying to not only walk on water, but run across the seas. 

Her sister Anna (Kristen Bell) gets a moment as well, seemingly trying to escape the same rocky isle. The two do reunite with the ice harvester Kristoff (Jonathan Groff) and his trusty reindeer Sven, as well as everyone’s favorite half-melted snowman Olaf (Josh Gad). At the trailer’s end, the group looks out on an autumnal landscape that appears to be a far cry from their icy homeland. 

Co-director Jennifer Lee teased that the characters are “going to go far out of Arendelle” in the sequel for a “bigger, more epic” journey. 

“Frozen 2,” which hits theaters Nov. 22, also brings aboard newcomers, including Sterling K. Brown and Evan Rachel Wood. 

7 Netflix Original Shows For People Obsessed With Romantic Comedies

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With an extensive library of original series in the romantic comedy genre, Netflix can help you feel vicarious love on Valentine’s Day.

While I’m still waiting for Netflix to make a show based on “You’ve Got Mail” ― which I attest is the best rom-com ever ― I’ve found a few streaming options to suffice until that long-awaited dream comes true.

From longtime filmmakers like Spike Lee to relative newcomers such as Phoebe Waller-Bridge, Netflix has seriously invested in this genre, giving you a lot to love about love. Yes, these shows focus on love, but strong writing in each makes them great choices any day of the year. In any case, if you’re preparing for that Netflix date this week, think of these shows for your big, romantic night in. 

And if you want to stay informed on what’s joining Netflix on a weekly basis, be sure to subscribe to the Streamline newsletter. 

Streamline makes recommendations for streaming shows and movies. Every Saturday, Streamline highlights the best shows to watch online, with a focus on Netflix. 

 

‘Love’

Premise: Two flawed people are aging out of youth in Los Angeles. They both feel unlovable but find each other by happenstance and start a relationship. Trials and tribulations abound, especially because both of them have deep emotional issues to sort out. But they stick together through the rough patches and ultimately anchor a small community of friends in a fulfilling life.

Sum up: A comforting show on multiple levels. These characters are a good, fun hang for viewers, but it’s also nice to see these people mess up their lives over and over to a degree far greater than you would probably ever do. They’re the friends that you can judge and feel superior to because they can’t even handle day-to-day interactions. But beyond the schadenfreude, at its heart the show’s greatest feat is its skilled depiction of the mundane, everyday fun of a blooming relationship.

Heads up: The first two seasons had promise but were lackluster. In its third season, the series finally became great, which is unfortunate because that was also the final season. Until the last season, the plots meander, and in a lazy writing move, the characters act irrationally for the sake of action. It can be hard to stick with the show through the first two seasons, so you should consider just skipping to the third and reading a recap for what preceded it.

Trailer:

 

‘Lovesick’

Premise: A sexually active young man learns he has chlamydia and goes on a journey to tell all the people he has slept with that they need to get checked. Or at least that’s where the show starts out. The original name of this show was “Scrotal Recall” and had much more of a sex-comedy focus. Over time, the show became more about a group of friends in which the two main figures in the group love each other but the timing never works out for a relationship.

Sum up: The show features dopey cool kids engaging in obnoxious activities while hanging out and making jokes. It doesn’t exactly have the rapid-fire jokes of a sitcom or a Tina Fey project but rather feels like a hybrid in which narrative moments feel grounded and slow but almost all dialogue still serves a joke. The pain of heartbreak and longing is well acted throughout, giving the laughs a sad undercurrent.

Heads up: As mentioned, the series had a name change from one of the most ridiculous show names of all time. From that wild, unambitious starting place, the show dived deeper into pain as it went along. So depending on what you want, you can start at the beginning or skip ahead a bit.

Trailer:

 

‘Chewing Gum’

Premise: A virgin in young adulthood wants to get laid but isn’t sure how, given her religious upbringing. She stumbles through awkward sexual interactions but does so with a loving group of friends who comfort her before and after her failures.

Sum up: Michaela Coel created and stars in this. She anchors the show with immense talent, as her comedic acting abilities carry each scene. “Chewing Gum” seems to have been a little before its time, as critically acclaimed sex comedies about puberty now abound, with shows such as “Big Mouth” and “Sex Education” on Netflix and “PEN15” on Hulu.

Heads up: The show features an underage sex scene that deserves scrutiny. Comedy can tell stories of flawed people in questionable situations, and the show examines the moment. But during the culture’s current focus on these issues, the narrative choice still feels as if it’s from another world.

Trailer:

 

‘Russian Doll’

Premise: A New Yorker keeps dying and restarting her life. Over and over again, she has to return to the same moment she’s staring at a mirror in the bathroom of a large apartment party for her 36th birthday. After multiple deaths, she starts to piece together what’s happening to her and what she needs to do to set her life back on track.

Sum up: Perhaps the best-written and most detail-oriented show on this list, “Russian Doll” rewards both super-close viewers and casual watchers just looking for a fun, mystery-box-oriented show. Each character, even minor ones, feel fully realized and unique — a huge feat for a show that’s only eight 30-minute episodes.

Heads up: The series is the least love-centric of the list, but there are relationships and a central romance of sorts. If this hadn’t just debuted and wasn’t currently the show I’m most obsessed with, I probably wouldn’t have quite considered this for inclusion in a list of rom-com shows. But if you squint, it works, so please just do that and watch it.

Trailer:

 

‘She’s Gotta Have It’

Premise: This is a show about juggling people and emotions and jobs. A woman lives as an artist in a beautiful, spacious apartment in the Fort Greene neighborhood of Brooklyn. She has three lovers from different walks of life as she sorts out her changing place in New York City due to gentrification.

Sum up: Created and directed by Spike Lee, the project revisits his 1986 movie of the same name. Although the show focuses on sexual independence first and foremost, it tackles many contemporary issues, such as rising rents in New York, capitalism and Donald Trump. The characters range from self-serious to proudly screwball, which helps the show constantly adapt in tone as it veers through different subjects.

Heads up: The wide scope of the show also makes the season feel a bit all over the place. Especially after the more fun moments, the serious parts can drag.

Trailer:

 

‘Easy’

Premise: An anthology series with slice-of-life stories that take place in the North Side of Chicago. Most stories focus on a central hookup, relationship or otherwise romantic encounter. Although each episode is self-contained, characters reappear, and the relationships occasionally develop over multiple episodes.

Sum up: Perfect for those who don’t want to commit the time to get through a whole season, these short stories have enough standalone value to be worth a quick, half-hour watch. The show also has a strong list of cool actors, including Zazie Beetz, Orlando Bloom, Dave Franco, Marc Maron and Aubrey Plaza.

Heads up: The series definitely has a few clunkier episodes, so if you’re going to pick and choose, make sure to read the episode descriptions to find one with appeal for you.

Trailer:

 

‘Crashing’

Premise: A group of young adults lives for nearly free in a former hospital as property guardians. Two longtime friends have a will-they/won’t-they situation going on, even though one of them has a fiancee who also lives in the hospital.

Sum up: This was Phoebe Waller-Bridge’s breakout project as a writer and television show creator. From here she has gone on to write and create the critically lauded “Fleabag” and “Killing Eve.” Although “Crashing” is not as good as those shows, the inventive screwballness of her later work is here and is as hilarious as ever. The ensemble cast and the romantic elements carry this enough between the strong jokes.

Heads up: The narrative is shaky, and the show has little to say, so you might be a bit underwhelmed if you have already seen Waller-Bridge’s stronger work. 

Trailer:

Rahul Gandhi, Mamata Banerjee, Arvind Kejriwal Say They Will Join Hands To Oust Modi

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NEW DELHI — Moving forward on a united anti-BJP front for the Lok Sabha elections, top opposition leaders Wednesday agreed to work together to prepare a common minimum programme to oust the Modi government and to consider forging a pre-poll alliance.

The meeting hosted by NCP president Sharad Pawar also saw Congress chief Rahul Gandhi and AAP’s Arvind Kejriwal coming together for the first time, while West Bengal Chief Minister Mamata Banerjee and her Andhra Pradesh counterpart N Chandrababu Naidu vowed to work together due to “democratic compulsions to save India”.

After the meeting, which took place hours after opposition leaders shared a dias at an AAP protest on the day of the last sitting of the present Lok Sabha, Gandhi told reporters that opposition leaders agreed to have a common minimum programme.

“We will work together to defeat the BJP,” he said.

Delhi Chief Minister Kejriwal termed the talks constructive and said the opposition will work together.

The meeting indicates that the Congress and the Aam Aadmi Party, who have been bitter rivals since the regional party came to power in Delhi in 2015, may forge a tie-up.

Trinamool Congress president Banerjee called the meeting “fruitful” and asserted that “we will do pre-poll alliance if needed”.

Opposition leaders will keep meeting in the coming days for better coordination, she said.

Earlier in the day, she had said, “Any fight with the Congress will remain in the state. At the national level, we will fight together, this I am saying from the heart... For the greater interest of the country, I am ready to sacrifice my life, my party. I am ready to sacrifice everything.”

Telugu Desam Party head Naidu said there was a democratic compulsion to save India while Farooq Abdullah of the National Conferences termed the meeting “good”.

Protesters In The Northeast Claim Victory As Citizenship Bill Lapses

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Students shout slogans during a protest to demand the withdrawal of the Citizenship Amendment Bill in Nagaon district of Assam, February 13, 2019.

GUWAHATI — Protesters in the Northeast claimed victory on Wednesday after a bill that the government says will help Hindus in neighbouring countries settle in India lapsed before it could be ratified by parliament.

The Citizenship Amendment Bill is aimed at helping Hindus and members of other non-Muslim minority communities in neighbouring Muslim countries move to India.

But critics say the legislation is as an attempt by Prime Minister Narendra Modi’s Bharatiya Janata Party (BJP) burnish its Hindu-nationalist credentials ahead of a general election, that must be held by May.

The bill had incited exceptional opposition in remote, ethnically diverse northeastern states where for years residents have complained that migrants from Bangladesh are a burden on society.

For days, protesters have taken to the streets, bringing chaos to several cities in the region. Authorities have responded with curfews and blocks on broadcasters in an attempt to quell the unrest.

The Lok Sabha passed the bill last month but it was not ratified by the Rajya Sabha before the end of its last session before the election, on Wednesday.

Activists in the northeast welcomed parliament’s failure to push the legislation through.

“This is a moral victory for the people of the northeast with the BJP forced to bow down to the voices of struggle,” Samujjal Bhattacharya, a leader of the All Assam Students’ Union, one of the protesting groups, told Reuters.

Members of the Assam state organisation had threatened to “shed blood” to block the bill.

Protests over recent days have also rocked the small state of Manipur, where authorities imposed an indefinite curfew and suspended mobile internet services for five days late on Tuesday, following violent protests.

Police said people were defying the curfew on Wednesday.

Protests also erupted in Mizoram state, where some activists have given voice to old separatist aspirations.

'Brutally Attacked By ABVP, Cops': Samajwadi Party's Richa Singh Tweets From Hospital

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Samajwadi Party youth leader Richa Singh said on Twitter early on Thursday that she was hospitalised after being beaten by members of the Akhil Bharatiya Vidyarthi Parishad and the police in Allahabad on Tuesday. 

The tweet included a photo of Singh lying in a hospital bed. 

“I was brutally attacked by Allahabad police and ABVP goons yesterday during a student’s protest at Allahabad University, I am suffering jaw and head injury and admitted in hospital,” the tweet said. 

It also alleged that the police had lodged an FIR against her on false charges. 

The incident took place when Singh and others were trying to hold a protest after SP leader Akhilesh Yadav was allegedly stopped at the Lucknow airport and was not given permission to fly to Allahabad where he was supposed to address students. 

Some other Twitter handles had said on Tuesday that Singh, who was earlier president of the Allahabad University Students’ Union, had been attacked. 

Protests erupted across Uttar Pradesh after the incident with Yadav. 

SP Chhatra Sabha leader Illyas Adnan that when SP student members and leaders tried to go on a ‘shanti march’, the police attacked them. 

Sabrang India quoted Adnan as saying, “They beat up several SP leaders including Dhananjay Yadav, Azamgarh MLA Sangram Yadav and also Mahindra Patel from Phulpur who were present at the protest. But were particularly brutal in the manner in which they beat up Richa Singh. She sustained head injuries and they also broke two of her teeth! She fell unconscious but we were not even allowed to take her to the hospital. She was arrested and taken to police lines.”

SC Fires 2 Court Officials For Tampering With Anil Ambani Order

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The Supreme Court has fired two court masters for tampering with its orders in a case against Reliance Communications and Anil Ambani to make it seem like Ambani’s personal appearance in court was not required, The Telegraphreported on Thursday.

In a notice to Ambani on 7 January, the SC had ordered him to be personally present in a contempt case filed by Ericsson India. But the order uploaded on the court website omitted the word “not”, changing the meaning of the court order.

The order on the website read: “personal appearance of the alleged contemnor(s) dispensed with”.

The  uploaded order was rectified on 10 January after it was brought to the court’s attention by Ericsson’s lawyer.

The court masters, who are responsible for orders dictated by the court, were dismissed by Chief Justice Ranjan Gogoi after a preliminary inquiry, The Telegraph report said.

Gogoi exercised extraordinary powers under Article 311 of the Constitution to sack the two court officials without employing the usual disciplinary proceedings.

Sources told the daily that the Justices Gogoi and Nariman had taken serious note of the incident. Justice Nariman heads the two-judge bench hearing the case. An inquiry is being held to identify everyone, including lawyers, who may have been involved in changing the order.

The court had on Wednesday reserved its verdict on Ericsson India’s plea seeking contempt action against Reliance Communications Ltd chairman Ambani and two others for non-clearance of Rs 550-crore dues.


Delhi Govt Vs Centre: SC Split On Who Controls Services, Centre Gets Control of ACB

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A two-judge Supreme Court bench delivered a split verdict on who controls services in the National Capital Region while agreeing the Centre would have control over the anti-corruption branch, PTI reported.

Justices AK Sikri and Ashok Bhushan differed on who had powers to appoint and transfer officers of the State Public Services,Live Law reported. 

However, the two judges agreed on issue of anti-corruption branch, revenue, appointment of inquiry commission and public prosecutor.

According to ANI, Justice Sikri held that transfers of posting of Joint Secretary and above officers were in the domain of the Lieutenant Governor, who is appointed by the Centre, while other officers would fall under Delhi government. In the case of difference of opinion, the LG’s view would prevail.  

Justice Sikri held that the Delhi government could appoint public prosecutors. The Commission of Inquiry would come under the LG while the Electricity Board would come under the Delhi government, ANI reported.

Justice Bhushan dissented from Justice Sikri on the issue of services and said all the officers would fall under the domain of the Central government.

The court unanimously held that the Centre had the power to set up the Commission of Inquiry and that the anti-corruption branch would come under the LG.

The Supreme Court referred the issue to a larger bench to decide whether the Delhi government or Lieutenant Governor should have jurisdiction over services in Delhi.

Noam Chomsky, Angela Davis Condemn Modi Govt's Clampdown On Activists

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The clampdown on political dissent since Prime Minister Narendra Modi took office in 2014 has received global attention with an association of social justice activists and scholars called ‘Fresh Perspectives, USA’ condemning the “illegal arrests” of human rights activists in India.

In a statement signed by Noam Chomsky, James Petras and Angela Davis among others, the group says that in recent months, the Maharashtra
police has arrested several prominent human rights activists including Varavara Rao, Arun Ferreira, Vernon Gonsalves, Sudha Bharadwaj, Gautam Navlakha and others in the Bhima Koregaon case.

“All these social activists have a long history of challenging state violence and human rights abuses through democratic and constitutional means,” said the statement.

It added that in Modi’s India, attacks on Dalits, adivasis, rationalists, Muslims and other religious minorities have continued and intensified. 

In a strong condemnation of the Modi government, the statement further said that as part of its long-term political agenda to establish Hindu nation, the government “has been using its authority to silence any voice that challenges its domination and repression.”

Referring to the Bhima-Koregaon case, the statement said that “by concocting a series of conspiracy stories, both the Indian state and the Maharashtra government worked together to put civil rights activists behind the bars under draconian colonial sedition law.”

The Elgar Parishad-Bhima Koregaon case was registered by the Pune Police following an incident of violence near Pune between 31 December 2017 and 1 January 2018.

Police claim that the Elgar Parishad event was funded and supported by Maoists and that some activists made inflammatory speeches and provocative statements that contributed to the Bhima Koregaon violence.

The statement also said that the government is creating fear and apprehension among the people who challenge its neoliberal economic policies and ultra-nationalist agenda by using oppressive methods.

Over 90 organisations and intellectuals, including Chomsky and Christophe Jaffrelot, had also recently written to United Nations secretary general Antonio Guterres asking him to intervene and withdraw the ‘fabricated charges’ against Dalit scholar Anand Teltumbde, reported The Wire.

Teltumbde is facing arrest by the Pune Police in the Elgar Parishad-Bhima Koregaon case. The Bombay High Court had on Monday extended his interim protection from arrest till 22 February and directed the Pune Police to release him on a personal bond and surety in case he is arrested before the next hearing.

The Human Rights Watch, in its World Report 2019, had also said that Modi and his government stepped up harassment of dissenters and critics in 2018.

The report also said that authorities increasingly used the Unlawful Activities Prevention Act to target civil rights activists and human rights defenders and mentioned the arrests in the Bhima-Koregaon case.

 

Why The 'DTR' Conversation Is So Hard To Have In Modern Relationships

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Defining the relationship (or DTR, for short) is all but a rite of passage in modern-day dating, but up until recently, I’d somehow gotten through life without having to experience it.

I spent the bulk of my 20s in a relationship. In college, my S.O. and I happily slid into a relationship, neither of us ever having to utter those three dreaded words: What. Are. We.

Currently single, I find I’m still dodging the question. I don’t like to ask. The last almost-quasi-relationship I was in ― a situation-ship, if you will ― was lovely but ill-defined and maybe short-lived because of that.

I wanted to be the cool girl who could live with ambiguity. I was genuinely busy at the time, and fine with whatever we were, even if what we were was uncertain and vague. As for what he wanted, well, I never did quite get a handle on that because I never explicitly asked.

As it were, we danced around defining the relationship until there was seemingly no chance of a relationship at all. Turns out, calling a thing a thing helps.

It’s a common scenario, especially among millennials, said Aimee Hartstein, a psychotherapist who practices in New York City and over Skype.

“I’ve seen so many people avoid the question and end up really upset and hurt when they realize that they are on a very different page from the person that they’re dating,” she told HuffPost.

You want things to evolve without a timetable, but dictating the terms of the relationship is essential, especially if you’re already a little wary of where you stand.

“I tell my clients, once you find yourself dating someone and after a few weeks or months you start to really like them, it’s time to have the conversation about what this is and where this is going,” Hartstein said. 

Some of us don’t DTR because we’re confused by the ‘paradox of choice’

Swipe culture isn't helping our relationship prospects, experts say. 

DTR is nothing new. It’s always been a struggle to figure out where you stand, but it’s a much murkier consideration today. With dating apps, finding love in 2019 is both easier and harder than it was 20 years ago. Hinge, Bumble and all the other apps give us almost endless choices for who we can date. While that’s not inherently a bad thing, the breadth of choices has made us pickier and less decisive. 

The resulting “paradox of choice,” as social scientists call it, convinces us that well-suited matches are always around the corner. We’re swipe happy. You may have found a great match, but the fact that you’ve found them implies you could find one more ― or dozens and dozens more

“Some find it difficult to settle down with one individual because of the fantasy that an even better person is just one swipe away,” Hartstein said. “And I think that people are a bit wary of having a conversation about commitment because of fear that their partner might be thinking that there is someone even better out there.”

Ambiguity in our relationships happens because we allow it to happen. Most of the time we know what we want, we are just afraid to ask for it. If you’re on Bumble searching for the love of your life, say it.Nadia Dalban, life coach

Clearly, we’d all benefit from a little radical honesty while dating. Be upfront about what you want out of the relationship ― or hookup situation ― and ask the same of who you’re dating.

If you’re actively doing that, there will be no room for the “What are we?” conversation to crop up in the first place, said Nadia Dalbani, a life coach currently residing in Dubai. 

“Ambiguity in our relationships happens because we allow it to happen,” she said. “Most of the time we know what we want, we are just afraid to ask for it. If you’re on Bumble searching for the love of your life, say it. It sounds simple, but it’s a problem that many of my clients face.”

It’s a rookie mistake to expect people to come into your life with a full understanding of what you’re looking for, but we do it anyway. That’s why Dalbani thinks we’re all so so prone to “what are we” conversations.

How do you have the conversation, anyway?

Your defining the relationship conversation doesn't have to be scary. 

Unless you’re blissfully instantly both certain you want to be together, DTR isn’t likely something you can table. Don’t wait for your partner to dictate the terms. Do it yourself, when you’re ready to take the relationship to the next level.

Steel your nerves, be transparent about your feelings and ask open-ended, nonconfrontational questions to determine your S.O.’s thoughts.

“Coax them with reflective statements like, ‘How do you feel about the time we spend together or the past few months or how much we hang out?’” Dalbani recommended. “The best approach is soft and subtle.”

Be proud of what you want and make it known. Ideally, they’ve also wanted to have this conversation and are just as giddy to get things off the ground as you. If you anticipate them getting annoyed, antsy or rejecting you and they follow through on that, you have to be OK with it.

“It’s sad and upsetting, but better to rip the Band-Aid off, move on, and meet someone who wants something closer to what you’d like out of a relationship,” Hartstein said. 

On the bright side, you’re developing healthy relationship habits for the future. Check-ins are beneficial at all stages of relationships: Think of those long-term  couples who renegotiate the terms of their relationships and “monogamy contracts” every few years and seem so highly evolved because of it. 

Ignorance really isn’t bliss, especially in relationships.

“Look, this is going to be a tough conversation to have even in the best of circumstances,” Hartstein said. “You’re really putting yourself out there while dating. As hard as it is to hear, you are so much better off knowing early on if they want the same things as you.”

NASA's Opportunity Rover Is Dead After 15 Years On Mars

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After 15 years, NASA’s Opportunity Mars rover is officially no more.

The interplanetary robot, which had been providing humans with never-before-seen images of Mars and vital data about the planet, is no longer operating, NASA announced on Wednesday.

“It is because of trailblazing missions such as Opportunity that there will come a day when our brave astronauts walk on the surface of Mars,” NASA Administrator Jim Bridenstine said in a release. “And when that day arrives, some portion of that first footprint will be owned by the men and women of Opportunity, and a little rover that defied the odds and did so much in the name of exploration.”

A self-portrait of NASA's Mars Exploration Rover Opportunity, using a combination of multiple frames taken by Opportunity's panoramic camera (Pancam) is seen on Mars in 2014.

The news follows months of unsuccessful attempts to make contact with the rover after it lost power in a global dust storm last summer.

Vice President Mike Pence was among those immediately expressing gratitude to the intrepid robot and its entire team on Wednesday, declaring on Twitter: “You made the country proud!”

NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory (JPL), which designed, built and has operated all four of the rovers sent successfully to Mars’ surface, according to its website, also praised Opportunity as completing “one of the most successful and enduring feats of interplanetary exploration.” 

“Humanity’s greatest explorers aren’t always human,” the research facility proclaimed on Twitter.

The rover continuously surpassed NASA’s expectations after touching down on the Red Planet in January 2004 with an expected operation of just 90 Martian days and 3,281 feet (or 1,000 meters) of travel. A day on Mars is only about 40 minutes longer than Earth’s.

In addition to exceeding its life expectancy by 60 times, the robot trekked more than 28 miles, or roughly 45 times its planned goal. It also set a one-day driving record of 721 feet, according to JPL. 

It snapped more than 217,000 images, including 13 providing 360-degree color panoramas. And it discovered evidence of water once existing on Mars,  including finding a water-forming mineral called hematite and indications of ancient water in a crater, NASA said.

Steve Squyres, principal investigator of the rovers’ science payload at Cornell University, praised Opportunity and its twin rover, Spirit, which lasted 2,210 Martian days, for detailing Mars’ previously unknown past.

“When you combine the discoveries of Opportunity and Spirit, they showed us that ancient Mars was a very different place from Mars today, which is a cold, dry, desolate world,” he said in a statement. “But if you look to its ancient past, you find compelling evidence for liquid water below the surface and liquid water at the surface.”

Opportunities’ confirmed death comes nearly eight months after it vanished in a dust storm that clouded its solar panels, placing it in hibernation mode, NASA had said.

The records, discoveries and sheer tenacity of this intrepid little rover is testament to the ingenuity, dedication, and perseverance of the people who built and guided her.

Opportunity was spotted by NASA’s Reconnaissance Orbiter on the Red Planet’s Perseverance Valley in September, igniting what would be a fruitless recovery attempt.

“I cannot think of a more appropriate place for Opportunity to endure on the surface of Mars than one called Perseverance Valley,” Michael Watkins, director of JPL, said in a statement on Wednesday. “The records, discoveries and sheer tenacity of this intrepid little rover is testament to the ingenuity, dedication, and perseverance of the people who built and guided her.”

NASA’s InSight lander remains on Mars after touching down on Nov. 26. The Curiosity rover also remains, exploring Gale Crater.

Mistress Is A Sexist Word. Stop Using It. The End.

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The word mistress is having a moment. It shouldn’t. It’s sexist and should’ve been retired long ago.

The “M word,” which has no male equivalent, is back thanks to the National Enquirer. Last month, the tabloid published text messages between billionaire Jeff Bezos and his girlfriend, 49-year-old news anchor Lauren Sanchez; each was married to someone else when their relationship began.

Then last week, the 55-year-old Amazon founder and CEO kept the story going by revealing in a blog post that the Enquirer was threatening to publish his naked photos if he didn’t comply with their demands.

In covering the drama, several news outlets resorted to calling Sanchez, a “mistress,” including The Daily Beast, The New York Post, The Chicago Tribune, The Atlanta-Journal Constitution, and MarketWatch. 

It’s a loaded term, meant to suggest that a woman is subordinate to the man with whom she’s having a relationship. The word also implies that her behavior is immoral.

“It is clearly a red-flag word,” said Soraya Chemaly, the director of the Women’s Media Center. “It implies this woman is operating outside the parameters of what is socially acceptable. That she might be morally questionable because she’s breaking the rules.”  

Since there’s no male equivalent for mistress, the implication is it’s OK for the guy to go outside his marriage ― it’s normal, doesn’t even require a new term.

WME's Patrick Whitesell, Lauren Sanchez and Amazon CEO Jeff Bezos attend Jeff Bezos and Matt Damon's 'Manchester By The Sea' party two years ago.

Sanchez’s romantic partner is just rogue billionaire Bezos, the richest guy in the world. Indeed, he’s been publicly lauded for standing up to the Enquirer.

The move “is perhaps the best illustration of the in-your-face aggressiveness that has made him the richest man in the world and arguably the most important tech visionary since Steve Jobs,” writes tech columnist Kara Swisher about Bezos.

Mistress is one of a parcel of terms ― slut, spinster ― that serve to dehumanize, objectify and subjugate, notes Chemaly, who recently published “Rage Becomes Her,” an exploration of women’s anger throughout history.

A Google search on Wednesday turned up a bunch of headlines with the M word.

Back in 2012, Paula Broadwell was called a “homewrecker,” “stalker” and a “temptress” for her extra-marital relationship with four-star general David Petraeus, a beloved military figure, Jessica Bennett pointed out in a 2016 New York Times article.

“[T]he shame of the mistress is a particular category,” she wrote. “Donna Rice, Monica Lewinsky, Rielle Hunter … the names have come to represent a kind of archetype.”

Broadwell was so bothered by the term that she petitioned the Associated Press to ditch it, Bennett reported. And they did, revising their guidance on the term and discouraging its use.

Here’s the entry in its style guidebook, used by many news outlets ― including HuffPost ― as a rulebook for writing. The AP notes that the word is meant to connote that a woman is getting financial support from her male partner.

“Mistress: A woman who has a long-term sexual relationship with, and is financially supported by, a man who is married to someone else. When a relationship is not long-term or does not involve financial support, do not use mistress; terms like companion, friend or lover may apply. Whenever possible, phrasing that acknowledges both people in the relationship is preferred: “The two were romantically (or sexually) involved.”

See there are other easy, less insulting words out there that can be easily swapped for mistress. Is that really so difficult?

Bill Gates Has A Few Opinions About A 70 Percent Tax On The Wealthy

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Rich dude Bill Gates told funnyman Stephen Colbert on Tuesday that the wealthy need to pay their fair share in taxes but that a proposed 70 percent marginal rate is flawed.

Gates — ranked as the world’s second-richest person by Forbes on Wednesday, with a fortune valued at $96.7 billion — made it clear on “The Late Show” that systemic changes should “take a much higher portion from people with great wealth.” 

The 63-year-old former Microsoft titan, however, stopped short of endorsing a proposal by Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez (D-N.Y.) that Americans making more than $10 million a year should pay a 70 percent marginal tax rate.

“That’s ordinary income,” he noted. “These great fortunes were not made through ordinary income, so you probably have to look to the capital gains rate and the estate tax if you want to create more equity there.”

Gates, who appeared on the show with his wife, Melinda Gates, to promote their foundation’s annual letter, made similar comments about the tax code to the Verge. 

Of course, there was going to be funny business, with Colbert asking if billionaires should exist and whether the Gateses have considered running for public office.

Watch the interview above.

‘Breaking Bad’ Movie Will Reportedly Star Aaron Paul And Debut On Netflix

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Actor Aaron Paul will bring his

Jesse Pinkman may be back, bitches.

Multipleoutlets reported a few interesting details about the film sequel to the iconic TV show “Breaking Bad” from unnamed sources on Wednesday.

According to The Hollywood Reporter and Variety, the full-length movie will revolve around Aaron Paul, who will reprise his Emmy-winning role as Pinkman, former apprentice to Walter White (Bryan Cranston). News about the plot is scarce, but it seems that it will follow the aftermath of the events that occurred in the show’s finale. Series creator Vince Gilligan will apparently write, executive produce and direct the top-secret project.

In an interesting twist, the movie will reportedly air on Netflix before it appears on AMC, the show’s original network. In the past, the series would air on AMC before it was available on Netflix, but the streaming giant is often credited with the show’s popularity, thanks to viewers who went to Netflix to binge-watch it.

Netflix, AMC and producer Sony Pictures Television declined to comment to Variety and The Hollywood Reporter. AMC told HuffPost that it had no information.

In October, Cranston confirmed that a “Breaking Bad” sequel was in the works, but he didn’t seem to know too much about the project.

“I have not gotten the script, I have not read the script. And so there’s the question of whether or not we would even see Walter White in this movie. Ohhh! Think about that one,” Cranston said on “The Dan Patrick Show.”

Most fans will recall that White died in the show’s 2013 finale, but the actor recently joked that things may not be as they seemed.

The New Mexico Film Office confirmed to the Albuquerque Journal that a movie called “Greenbrier” began production in October in Albuquerque, where the TV series was set. A source told the paper that “Greenbrier” is the “Breaking Bad” sequel.


Puducherry CM Protests Against LG Kiran Bedi, Sleeps Outside Raj Nivas

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PUDUCHERRY — Chief Minister V Narayanasamy and his ministerial colleagues continued their dharna outside the Raj Nivas for the second day on Thursday protesting Lt Governor Kiran Bedi’s “negative stand” towards his government’ proposals awaiting her approval.

Narayanasamy, his ministers and party MLAs had on Wednesday night slept on a pavement close to the Raj Nivas wearing black shirts. They have been demanding that that the Lt Governor accord sanction to 39 government proposals, including a free rice scheme.

Functionaries of different wings of the ruling Congress and the DMK have also joined the protest.

Bedi left for New Delhi early on Thursday morning under tight security of the Rapid Action Force (RAF).

A source in the Raj Nivas told PTI that she would return on 20 February and has invited the chief minister for discussion over the issues raised by him on 21 February.

Asserting that their protest would continue till the government proposals were cleared, the chief minister said, “Even if it is not possible to immediately concede all the 39 pleas, the Lt Governor can give her nod to some of the important schemes including the free rice scheme and grants.”

“When people’s representatives are holding agitation in support of their charter of 39 demands since Wednesday seeking approval of Lt Governor, it is amusing indeed that Bedi had left for Chennai enroute Delhi,” PWD Minister A Namassivayam told PTI.

“This shows that she does not respect the popular government. This is the height of her vanity.”

On the helmet rule, Namassivayam said the government had asked the police not to be very stern against those not using helmets while driving two wheelers as awareness needs to be raised at least for a month before making the wearing of helmets compulsory.

He, however, clarified that they were not against the helmet rule as the Supreme Court’s directive to implement the rule should be complied with by all.

Meanwhile, barricades were erected around the Lt Governor’s office to keep agitators at bay as a section of volunteers of different political parties raised slogans against the deployment of the RAF around Raj Nivas and at various vantage points.

Chief Minister Narayanasamy had led an agitation in front of the Parliament on 4 January, demanding that the Centre sanction statehood for Puducherry and replace Kiran Bedi as the Lt Governor.

The Lt Governor and the government headed by Narayanasamy had been at loggerheads over various issues ever since Bedi assumed office in May 2016.

Delhi Govt Vs Centre: Will Fight For Full Statehood, Says Kejriwal After SC Verdict

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Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal called Thursday’s Supreme Court verdict “unfortunate” and reiterated his party would fight for full statehood.

The ruling Aam Aadmi Party said it was unfortunate that there was no clarity in the SC judgement that delivered a split verdict on who controls services in the National Capital Territory. Justices AK Sikri and Ashok Bhushan differed on who could appoint and transfer officers — the Delhi government or the Centre.

“If a government can’t even transfer its officers, how is it supposed to function? The party that has 67 seats doesn’t have the rights but the party who won three seats has those rights,” Kejriwal said at a press conference after the verdict.

“The SC verdict is unfortunate. It is injustice with people of Delhi,” he said.

People of Delhi will continue to suffer, AAP spokesperson Saurabh Bharadwaj told reporters after the Supreme Court referred the issue of clarity on division of powers between the Delhi government and the Centre to a larger bench.

“We appeal to the people of Delhi, you have to strengthen us. We will fight for full statehood and betterment of Delhi,” Kejriwal said.

The two-judge bench, however, agreed on disputes relating to the Anti-Corruption Branch, setting up of a commission of inquiry, control over electricity boards, land revenue matters and appointment of pubic prosecutors.

The apex court also upheld the Centre’s notification that its employees cannot be probed in corruption cases by ACB of Delhi government.

Meanwhile, the Delhi unit of the BJP welcomed the judgement and said it removes ambiguities in the powers of the Delhi government.

There should no scope for “confusion or conflict” and the AAP government should humbly accept the Supreme Court judgement, Leader of Opposition in the Delhi Assembly Vijender Gupta said.

(With PTI inputs)

Shamima Begum: Isis Teen Bride's Plea To Return To Britain

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An east London schoolgirl who left Britain as a 15-year-old to join the Islamic State group is now heavily pregnant and wants to come home.

Shamima Begum was tracked down by The Times to a refugee camp in northern Syria where she is now 19-years-old, the bride of an Islamic State fighter, and nine months pregnant. She said her two infant children had died and that her husband is in captivity.

Stating that “I don’t regret coming here,” she told The Times: “I’m not the same silly little 15-year-old schoolgirl who ran away from Bethnal Green four years ago.”

She also told the paper: “The caliphate is over. There was so much oppression and corruption that I don’t think they deserved victory.

“I know what everyone at home thinks of me as I have read all that was written about me online. But I just want to come home to have my child.

“That’s all I want right now. I’ll do anything required just to be able to come home and live quietly with my child.”

The Times newspaper tracked Begum down to a refugee camp in northern Syria.

She was one of three schoolgirls - along with Kadiza Sultana and Amira Abase - from Bethnal Green Academy who left their homes and families in February 2015 to join a fourth Bethnal Green schoolgirl in Syria who had left London they year before. They each married an Isis foreign fighter, according to The Times.

Sultana was reported to have been killed in an airstrike on Raqqa in May 2016, while Begum has recently heard second-hand from other people that Abase, and the other schoolgirl who left Britain in 2014, may still be alive.

When she arrived, Begum was put in a house where jihadist brides-to-be waited to be married, she said.

[READ MORE: 5 key questions raised after British Isis teen bride’s plea to return]

Begum was married 10 days after arriving in Raqqa in 2015 to a Dutchman who had converted to Islam. She claims her husband was later arrested, charged with spying and tortured.

She left Raqqa in January 2017 with her husband but her children, a girl aged a year and nine months old and a three-month-old boy, both died in the recent months. Her son had an unknown illness worsened by malnutrition, The Times said.

She said she had a “mostly” a “normal life in Raqqa, every now and then bombing and stuff”.

She told the paper: “But when I saw my first severed head in a bin it didn’t faze me at all. It was from a captured fighter seized on the battlefield, an enemy of Islam. I thought only of what he would have done to a Muslim woman if he had the chance.”

The family went to Baghuz and she left there two weeks ago along a three-mile long corridor east of the town. Her husband surrendered to a group of Syrian fighters allied to the Syrian Democratic Forces (SDF) and she has not seen him since, according to The Times.

A police handout photograph apparently showing the moment Begum entered Turkey on her journey to Syria.

The Home Office said it does not comment on individual cases, although anyone who returns to the UK after travelling to Isis territory faces criminal investigation and stricter laws are now in place.

Security Minister Ben Wallace said: “The UK advises against all travel to Syria and parts of Iraq. Anyone who does travel to these areas, for whatever reason, is putting themselves in considerable danger.

“Everyone who returns from taking part in the conflict in Syria or Iraq must expect to be investigated by the police to determine if they have committed criminal offences, and to ensure that they do not pose a threat to our national security.

“There are a range of terrorism offences where individuals can be convicted for crimes committed overseas and we can also use Temporary Exclusion Orders to control an individuals’ return to the UK.”

Tasnime Akunjee, a lawyer who was instructed by the Bethnal Green girls’ families after they ran away, said he was “glad [Begum] is alive and safe”.

He said the authorities should be reminded of former Metropolitan Police Commissioner Bernard Hogan-Howe’s position at the time of their disappearance.

“The position of the Metropolitan Police was that they should be treated as victims, so long as they hadn’t committed any further offences while they are out there,” he said.

Akunjee said he had spoken to the girls’ families, who had “expressed the position that they want time and space to process what’s happened”.

Congress Has Virtually Ruled Out Alliance With AAP, Says Arvind Kejriwal

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NEW DELHI — The Congress has “more or less” ruled out an alliance with the Aam Aadmi Party (AAP), Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal said on Thursday, a day after he had participated in a meeting with opposition leaders, including Congress president Rahul Gandhi.

Responding to a question on an alliance with the Congress, he said it has “more or less ruled out the alliance (with AAP)”.

Asked whether the AAP was more eager for an alliance with the Congress, he said the BJP would benefit in a three-cornered contest.

Moving forward on a united anti-BJP front for the Lok Sabha elections, top opposition leaders including Rahul Gandhi and Mamata Banerjee Wednesday agreed to work together to prepare a common minimum programme to oust the Modi government and to consider forging a pre-poll alliance.

The meeting, hosted by NCP president Sharad Pawar at his residence here, also saw Congress chief Gandhi and Kejriwal coming together for the first time.

Mayawati Says Congress, BJP Regimes In MP And UP Are Examples Of 'State Terror

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LUCKNOW — The BJP government in Uttar Pradesh and the Congress regime in Madhya Pradesh are examples of “state terror” and should be condemned, BSP chief Mayawati said on Thursday.

Her strong statement came after 14 Aligarh Muslim University (AMU) students were booked for sedition on Tuesday night and the Madhya Pradesh government imposed the National Security Act (NSA) on Muslims on charges of cow slaughter earlier in the month.

“Congress government in MP, like BJP, slapped atrocious NSA against Muslims for cow slaughter. Now the Uttar Pradesh BJP government has booked 14 AMU students under notorious sedition charges. Both are examples of state terror and condemnable,” Mayawati said in a statement.

“People should decide what is the difference between the Congress and BJP governments,” she added.

In Aligarh, Uttar Pradesh, 14 students, including the AMU students union chief, were booked under sedition charges after some students and a TV channel crew got into an altercation over reports of a visit by AIMIM lawmaker Asaduddin Owaisi.

In Khandwa, Madhya Pradesh, authorities slapped NSA and jailed on three Muslim men for allegedly killing a cow in Khandwa earlier this month.

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