How many of us own a dedicated digital camera anymore? The answer is probably not that many.

As our smartphones get smarter we’ve ditched the compact camera and instead are turning to our iPhones to get that perfect Instagram-worthy image.

It’s no surprise either, with recent smartphones like the Google Pixel 2 and Huawei P20 Pro boasting the kind of features you would expect to find on a professional DSLR worth thousands of pounds.

Great photography doesn’t have to come at a cost either, while these phones can cost upwards of £700-800, the rise of Artificial Intelligence in smartphones has allowed even lower-priced smartphones the ability to take great pictures.

Points to consider when choosing:

• Megapixels don’t matter - That’s right, more is most definitely not better so don’t pick a phone just because it has a 20MP camera.

• Dual-cameras or single lens? - The Google Pixel 2 takes incredible pictures with just one lens. If you see a phone with two cameras make sure that lens is actually doing something useful whether it’s allowing you to zoom further or take better low-light images.

• Lights, Camera, Action - If shooting video is a big priority for you then it could completely change the phone you should choose. Check for Optical Image Stabilisation (OIS), 4K and 60fps recording and if you want to be experimental, super slow-motion at over 900fps.

• Aperture is everything - This is how much light a camera lets in, the lower the number the better e.g. f1.5 is better than f2.4.

• Portrait Mode or Low Light? - Most cameras now focus on either taking those Bokeh-effect images where they can blur the background or taking incredible low-light images. Choose which one you care about as there aren’t many phones that can do both equally as well.

Here are our recommendations of the best phone cameras available right now.

Google Pixel 2

Last year Google focused all of its not inconsiderable computing power towards making the easiest point-and-shoot camera in the world. The result was the Google Pixel 2. With a single 12.2MP main camera and an f/1.8 aperture the Pixel 2 takes fantastic pictures in both low-light conditions and when on the move.

With just the one lens, Google is instead relying on incredibly powerful software to help enhance images and make them look their best. Portrait Mode images are best-in-class and in some cases probably better than the iPhone. The camera app is a complete doddle to use and perfect for beginners. For more advanced photographers, the Pixel’s OLED display is something to watch out for. It’s not known for being especially accurate, as such always be aware that what you might see on your phone is not what you’re going to see when you print it off or send it to someone else.

Google Pixel 2: From £629
Google Pixel 2 XL: From £799

Huawei P20 Pro

Huawei’s P20 Pro is an incredibly mixed bag. You have some incredible hardware in the form of not two, but three lenses. There’s a 40MP main sensor, 20MP black & white sensor and a 8MP sensor with 3X optical zoom.

The three lenses give the P20 Pro a rather neat party trick which is that it can take some pretty astonishing pictures at night. The results are mightily impressive as you can see here. The P20 Pro also has one of the most comprehensive ‘Pro’ modes available, giving you precise access to every conceivable setting. The P20 Pro isn’t perfect though, the app itself isn’t intuitive and the camera’s auto modes are viciously aggressive when it comes to humans and objects. They’re just over-filtered. If you’re a pro, this is the camera for you, if you’re looking for a point-and-shoot, look elsewhere.

Huawei P20 Pro: £799

OnePlus 6

OnePlus smartphones have always struggled to take pictures that can truly compete with the giants of Apple and Samsung. This all changes with the OnePlus 6. On the back there’s a 16MP f1.7 lens with OIS and a 20MP f1.7 lens which when combined will allow you to take Bokeh effect images and some pretty descent low-light images as well.

The OnePlus 6 does take incredibly good pictures, keep in mind though it does have a habit of over saturating colours. What it does really well is make taking pictures easy. The app could not be easier to use for beginners. Pro shooters aren’t forgotten either with a feature packed ‘Pro’ mode that lets you shoot pictures in RAW format.

Where the OnePlus suffers is in its execution of Portrait Mode, the live image you see often bears little resemblance to the finished image. It’s frustrating, but not a deal breaker because the finished image is often fantastic, with very little accidental blurring around objects that should be in focus. Sadly video is equally less impressive thanks to the camera’s almost constant need to refocus, producing some fairly unpleasant artefacts as you’re shooting. It’s OK, just not great.

OnePlus 6: From £469

iPhone X

Despite being announced back in September of 2017, it’s a testament to Apple that the iPhone X still has one of the best cameras in a smartphone. On the back is a 12MP f1.8 wide-angle lens and a 12MP f2.4 telephoto lens, on the front there’s a 7MP TrueDepth camera that allows the iPhone X’s Face ID technology.

Apple’s dual-camera setup is primarily there to allow for Portrait Mode and long-distance images. As such it’s brilliant at both, boasting arguably the best Bokeh-effect images around and superb lighting options with Apple’s own Portrait Lighting technology. Low-light performance is great, but not as good as either the Samsung Galaxy S9 and Huawei P20 Pro.

For professionals or enthusiasts there’s little help from the standard Camera app, however the iPhone has an incredible weapon up its sleeve, the App Store. Apple has opened up the camera to developers allowing them to create their own professional shooting apps including ProCamera and Adobe Lightroom.

Apple iPhone X: From £999

Samsung Galaxy S9+

The Samsung Galaxy S9 and S9+ are both the first cameras to have a dual aperture, that means that the camera can switch from being either f1.5 for low-light images or f2.4 for ultra-sharp images in broad daylight. Combine this with the dual-cameras on the larger S9+ and you have one of the best all-round cameras available. Low-light images are pretty incredible with only the Huawei P20 Pro as its equal in that regard.

The camera app itself is easy to use and absolutely full to the brim of neat little tricks from a bokeh effect that you can adjust in real-time to a Super Slow Motion mode that automatically detects movement so it records at just the right time. Video is also superb with few artefacts or shaking thanks to Optical Image Stabilisation. It’s hard to find a single fault with the S9 or the dual-camera S9+ but then at this price, you’d expect nothing less.

Samsung Galaxy S9: From £739
Samsung Galaxy S9+: From £929

Sony Xperia XZ2

Sony’s latest flagship might look and feel a little dated but don’t be fooled by its chunky design and rectangular screen. The hardware in this smartphone is cutting edge. The XZ2 has a single 19MP Motion Lens f2.0 camera that despite its aperture size is actually remarkably good at taking pictures in low light.

This camera’s party trick though is with its video capture. The XZ2 and XZ2 Premium are the only smartphones capable of recording video in 4K and High Dynamic Range (HDR). Unsurprisingly the results are extremely impressive with excellent contrast and really remarkable colour reproduction. Of course the only way you can view these videos are through either the phone’s own HDR display or a compatible HDR television so that’s something to keep in mind.

The XZ2 can also shoot in 960fps super slow motion, again the quality here is just really impressive but sadly the app’s UI does make it rather difficult to get the timing right when recording. It’s a shame because overall this feels like a camera that’s been designed for photographers and shooting video.

Sony Xperia XZ2: From £699

Travel enthusiasts typically want to visit as many different parts of the world as they can. Some destinations, though, are just so special that even the most adventurous travelers want to return again and again.

But what makes a place so meaningful and compelling? HuffPost spoke to a number of travel experts to find out.

Without further ado, here are 10 qualities that make a place worth revisiting. Keep these in mind if you’re looking for a good repeat destination spot. 

Emotional attachment

“I think many destinations become repeat destinations because travelers develop an emotional attachment to these spots through amazing experiences they’ve had there ― often with family and friends,” Nancy Schretter, managing editor of the Family Travel Network, told HuffPost. “As the bond grows deeper, vacationers simply can’t imagine not coming back.”

The emotional connection can run deeper. “One of my specialties is planning Ancestral Destination Adventures ― this can keep extended family members returning to a place or country several times, whether they still know people in the ‘old country’ or not,” travel consultant and writer Lisa Vogele told HuffPost.

“One of my clients traveled to Ireland to visit her ancestors’ farm,” Vogele said. “She met current-day occupants who then proceeded to spend hours with her and her daughter, sharing what they knew about the farm’s previous owners. She enjoyed her experience so much, she returned to visit other parts of Ireland where other family lines resided.”

Connection to local culture and community

“For me, the destinations that draw me back are the ones where I feel a connection with the place or the culture, a need to explore more and dive beneath the surface,” said Alex Reynolds, travel blogger at Lost With Purpose. “Beautiful tourist sights are well and good, but it’s the welcome you get from the local people that leaves a true lasting impression. I can finish checking a bucket list of sights, but I can never stop learning about people and their cultures.”

Forging personal relationships can be tremendously powerful. “I’ve personally traveled to Italy 10 times,” said Vogele. “Seven of those 10 times I’ve made at least a pit stop in Bologna because what started as an acquaintance with three of my mothers’ overseas colleagues showing me around turned into a treasured friendship with those friends that has grown deeper as our spouses have also become friends, and we’ve become friends with their friends.”

“People will go back to the same place to see friends and to be with their communities,” Molly McCorkle, senior editor of AHotelLife.com, told HuffPost. “Tulum, Ibiza, Burning Man, Mykonos ... all beautiful places that the community also helps to build and evolve with a conscious approach. They’re easy to get hooked on.”

Rich history

“A major draw can be a deep, historical interest in a particular period or subject of a country ― the Renaissance in Italy, the royal family in England, or recreations of historical events,” said Vogele. 

“A country like Italy is just ‘wow!’” travel writer and photographer Michael Luongo told HuffPost. “It has the highest number of UNESCO World Heritage Sites. So you also have places that are rich in cultural heritage, archaeological heritage ― and just a few miles from wherever you were the last trip, you can explore something completely different.”

Unique beauty

“Watching the smoke rise from Mt. Etna, the view from the Eiffel Tower, the surfing waves on Portugal’s shores, hiking one of the Camino de Santiago trails ― these are all moments in time you are physically present and treasure, causing a desire to repeat them,” said Vogele.

“Nature is an element that can be important for many people,” said Alice Boyes, a former clinical psychologist who is now a writer. “My spouse is like this, and likes returning to places and doing the same nature walks we’ve done previously.”

“New Zealand, where I’ve been four times, is very out of the way, but I’d go back there any time,” said Max Hartshorne, editor of the travel website GoNOMAD.com. “It’s so special and so one-of-a-kind, even the animals and fauna are unique.”

Amazing food

“We have a great percentage of clients that repeat destinations, and the number one spot is Italy, number two is France and number three is Spain,” April Merenda, president and co-founder of Gutsy Women Travel, told HuffPost. “I believe gastronomy plays an important factor, as well as culture and the ‘wow’ aspect of so much to see and do that multiple visits are necessary. These destinations appeal to all the senses.”

Familiarity

“There’s something about coming back to a place you know you’ll love,” said Schretter. “If certain vacationers had a great time at a destination, they want to return because they’re confident they’ll have a good time. They’ve discovered certain activities, restaurants and experiences they’ll enjoy there. If the place continues to make them happy, they’re likely to return again and again.” There’s also comfort, safety and less risk in familiar places, she added. 

Boyes pointed out that it’s less stressful and time-consuming to plan repeat visits, particularly if you’re choosing the same hotel, car rental spot and so on. “Certain destinations are very predictably relaxing. For example, my family in New Zealand return to small beach towns in either New Zealand or Australia year after year,” she said. “The experiences are different enough to provide a sense of a break and change of pace and scenery but don’t involve culture shock or require a full day or more of travel to get there.”

“Destinations can attract you to the point that you’re perusing real estate posters and wondering about how much that apartment you stayed in might rent for,” said Hartshorne, adding that he visits Eagles Mere, Pennsylvania, and Edgartown, Massachusetts, year after year.

“I value and continue to travel to these familiar places because I know exactly what I’ll find when I get off the ferry, or finish the six-hour drive through Pennsylvania’s vast countryside,” he said. “The predictability is a draw. That same little downtown may have a few new shops, but it’s still basically the same. The lake, the man in the ferry boat who takes us across, all of them are deliciously familiar.” 

Obscure exploration

“An advantage of repeat destinations is that you’ve typically done the tourist traps on your first trip, and can focus more on relaxation or exploring less touristy neighborhoods,” said Boyes. “For this reason, repeat trips often involve less waiting in line and less dealing with crowds.”

“For all travelers, I’d recommend returning to destinations because it’s a great opportunity to see the parts of town or parts of a country you missed the first time, maybe get to more obscure areas beyond the highlights, and get a deeper appreciation of the people, culture or landscape you’ve come to see,” Lonely Planet travel writer David Else told HuffPost.

Family tradition

“Some travel destinations become long-standing family traditions. Parents take their children to a particular beach, dude ranch or destination for summer vacations, and as a family, they make treasured memories there,” said Schretter. 

“When the children grow up and have kids of their own, they want to share this destination with their own children. These can often turn into multigenerational vacations, as grandparents enjoy seeing the destination again through their grandchildren’s eyes,” she said, noting that Walt Disney World, North Carolina’s Outer Banks and Cape Cod are popular family tradition spots. 

“At smaller properties, vacationers may be returning to a place ‘where everyone knows your name,’” she added. “Coming back to the destination is like coming home.” 

Special treatment

“Some resorts and vacation properties go out of their way for return guests. They learn their preferences, what they enjoy, and the staff goes out of their way to make them feel special. There may be some extra perks involved as well,” said Schretter. 

“I’m someone who likes hotels. I like the simplicity of living out of a suitcase, having staff available 24/7, and having someone make my bed!” said Boyes. “I typically use credit card points for hotel stays, so when I find a hotel that’s friendly, pleasant, convenient and good value for using points, I love returning.  There are small things that enhance my returning experience, like being greeted at hotels as a returning guest.”

Easy access to different experiences

“Certain vacation spots and destinations have such a wide range of activities that they can keep all ages and interests happy. This can make them a popular repeat travel destination ― particularly for multigenerational families, families with kids ranging from little ones to teens, or groups of friends,” Schretter said. “Destinations like this are often constantly adding new attractions and restaurants as well. This broad range of activities and experiences also allows vacationers to enjoy ‘old favorites’ but also try something new on their next visit. That way, no one gets bored.”

Luongo noted that people like to visit major cities repeatedly for similar reasons. “Buenos Aires for example is a city that many people go back to because there’s always something vibrant and always something changing, whether that’s the art scene, the nightlife, the restaurant scene.”

He added that a major city also often offers easy access to different adventures around the country. “Maybe I’m going to do a weekend again in Buenos Aires, but then can I go skiing around there? Or hiking? What other destinations can I do ― wine country, mountain country, beaches?” said Luongo. “So it’s about a place that has a large city that always has something new, but that city is always easily accessible to a different interior that gives you those experiences.”

Grande and Minaj teamed up on “Side to Side” back in 2016.

Many Twitter users appeared awfully happy about their latest effort together.

The Death Star set piece from 1977′s “Star Wars: A New Hope” was a terrific achievement in movie effects history. And now you can own a piece of it.

Much of the Death Star set pieces used by Industrial Light & Magic (ILM) for the incredible trench run at the end of “A New Hope” were tossed into a landfill. An ex-employee of ILM fished one piece out as a souvenir and it was later acquired by “Star Wars” collector Steve Grad. The piece, which measures 23.75 inches by 11.75 inches and varies in height, currently has a bid of $10,600.

The auction ends Sunday, June 3, so if you have any delusions of grandeur about slowly rebuilding the first Death Star, you may want to jump on this.

Buying and eating apples seems a pretty healthy thing to do. But a new study has found that every 1 kilo (2.2 pounds) of conventionally grown apples creates health effects costing 21 cents due to the effects of pesticides and fungicides, resulting in sick leave and eventually shorter life expectancies.

The study, from the Dutch organization Soil & More Impacts, to be published at the end of May, highlights a key problem: The price you pay for apples in the store doesn’t cover the hidden costs of producing them. Instead, these are paid for by society — through the ever-increasing costs of health care and health insurance.

The apple example is not an outlier; it’s indicative of the bigger picture. Agriculture is the world’s largest industry, with 1 billion people engaged in farming worldwide. Pasture and cropland use about 50 percent of the earth’s habitable land. Agriculture also is one of the worst-polluting industries on the planet — even though it could be one of the most powerful forces for good.

It’s easy for people to distance themselves from the problem. Most people aren’t farmers and don’t think about these issues daily. But it’s the food choices we make every day that feed into our farming practices.

Conventional farming practices focus on monocultures, genetically modified organism (GMO) seed use and pesticides, polluting both crops and groundwater, as well as conventional plowing methods that result in topsoil erosion. Regenerative farming practices use no pesticides and non-GMO seeds and focus on ecosystem diversity, crop rotation, composting and no-till cultivation (growing crops without disrupting the soil).

Data from a 2014 white paper from the Rodale Institute, a nonprofit that supports regenerative farming, suggests that we could soak up more than 100 percent of the current annual global carbon dioxide emissions with a full switch to regenerative agriculture.

The point: It’s our choice. And we make these decisions every day. As an economist, I have always believed that changing the economy starts with changing farming and food. Even though the recent movement for localizing farm and food cycles has changed the face of the industry across many regions, mainstream global agriculture is still in the grip of major companies like Monsanto that have built their business model around perpetuating the old model that makes farmers dependent on their pesticides, herbicides and GMO seeds.

As with the apples, this model damages the environment and people’s health, which society has to pay to fix. A 2011 water study in France, for example, found that the amount of tax money that the country was spending to clean up water that had been polluted through conventional farming, mainly because of pesticide use,was roughly equal to the amount spent on groceries nationally that year. In other words, if people paid the real cost of groceries, they would be paying about twice as much.

The same has been found for the U.K. A November 2017 study found the real costs of conventionally produced food in the U.K. are 100 percent higher than current market prices. Every British pound of food sales comes with another pound of hidden costs to society, through, among other repercussions, environmental pollution, ill health related to production and diet-related diseases.

If you add to this the shockingly high suicide rate among farmers — including in the U.S., where a 2016 study found that farming had the highest suicide rates of any profession — and the fact that three-quarters of the world’s 800 million people who suffer from hunger are farmers, you begin to see the irrationality of the current food system. This agricultural system destroys our planet, makes us sick and harms farmers physically and mentally. In short, we collectively create results that nobody wants.

At this point, you often hear the argument that, sure, there are these problems, but we need industrial agriculture to avoid dramatic food shortages.

That sounds right on the surface. But the hunger problem today is not a supply problem; it’s a distribution problem. Roughly one-third of the food produced in the world for human consumption every year gets lost or wasted.

“We have two or three times the amount of food right now that is needed to feed the number of people in the world,” said Joshua Muldavin, a geography professor at Sarah Lawrence College who focuses on food and agricultural instruction.

But people aren’t getting the food, said Emelie Peine, a professor of international politics and economy at the University of Puget Sound. “And even if [they] did, they don’t have enough money to buy it,” she added. This is true in many developed countries too. An estimated 1 in 6 Americans, nearly 50 million people, can’t afford to buy sufficient nutritious food to stay healthy, according to the Department of Agriculture.

Another key issue is diet: The less meat we eat, the more people we can feed. For example, when compared by available calories produced, beef requires 160 times as much land and eight times the water and produces 11 times the greenhouse gases as the average for potatoes, wheat and rice.

Regenerative agriculture could solve the world hunger problem if people ate a more balanced diet, including less beef, and if distribution problems were addressed appropriately.

What’s needed is a transition strategy at scale that brings today’s global agricultural system into the 21st century, into an economic environment that is no longer blind to the issues of health, water, biodiversity and climate change.

I witnessed a small-scale version of such a transition on the family farm I grew up on. Sixty years ago, my parents decided to switch from conventional to regenerative methods of agriculture.

My father had read an article about the new form of agriculture in a journal. That piece of writing ignited a flame. But the moment my parents began to change the way they farmed, many of their friends and others in the community turned against them. They also experienced an extended period of poor harvests and economic hardship before they fully learned the new farming practices and created channels for direct sales.

What got them through was a new idea that allowed them to rethink their farm and their role as farmers in the context of a broader system. They also benefited from a core support system of a couple of friends and experts who provided practical and coaching support. And they learned how to link directly to conscious consumers willing to pay a fair price for more sustainably produced food.

It’s these support structures that are needed today. They exist as prototypes, such as the Sustainable Food Lab — a global network of organizations working on sustainable farming — but they are needed at a much larger scale.

What would it take to bring these kinds of changes to the scale of the whole system?

First, stop the massive subsidizing of industrial conventional farming and all the pollution that comes with it and redirect these resources to support regenerative farms and smallholders. Put a price on the use of pesticides. Reduce the massive use of antibiotics in livestock farming by 50 percent until 2020. And replicate transition support structures like the Sustainable Food Lab across regions to bring together all the key players that need to collaborate in order to make sustainable food practices mainstream.

And last, we should never forget that this whole transition starts with our food choices, with the journey from farm to fork that gets triggered and reinforced by the everyday food choices that we make.

CORRECTION: A photo caption in a previous version of this story indicated beef requires 160 times as much water per calorie to produce as wheat, rice and potatoes. In fact, it requires 160 times as much land and eight times as much water.

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HuffPost’s “This New World” series is funded by Partners for a New Economy and the Kendeda Fund. All content is editorially independent, with no influence or input from the foundations. If you have an idea or tip for the editorial series, send an email to thisnewworld@huffpost.com

Pink Floyd co-founder Nick Mason is taking the group’s earliest tunes out on the road.

The drummer and Rock & Roll Hall of Famer has formed a new band called Nick Mason’s Saucerful of Secrets to play tunes from Pink Floyd’s pre-“Dark Side of the Moon” output.  

“We’re not a tribute band,” Mason told Uncut last week. “It’s not important to play the songs exactly as they were, but to capture the spirit.”

After a series of shows over the past week in London, Mason announced he will take the band on the road for a European tour. (A full list of dates is posted on the band’s website.) 

There’s no word yet if the tour will be extended to North America. 

Nick Mason’s Saucerful of Secrets features Mason on drums, Gary Kemp and Lee Harris on guitar, Guy Pratt on bass and Dom Beken handling keyboards.

For the London shows, the group’s set included “Set The Controls For The Heart Of The Sun,” “See Emily Play,” “Arnold Layne,” “One Of These Days” and “Astronomy Domine.”  

The Telegraph called one of the London shows a “thrilling return to weirdness of Sixties Pink Floyd” and gave it four out of five stars. 

“It was a set of such startling intensity it seemed to mock the very notion of nostalgia,” music critic Neil McCormick wrote. “It was enough to make you wonder whether rock has progressed very far at all since the Sixties.”

Pink Floyd reunion rumors have cropped up from time to time over the years, particularly reports that the band would play at the Glastonbury Festival. Most of those rumors went nowhere; however, the band did perform a short set at the “Live 8” concert in 2005.  

Keyboardist Rick Wright died three years later.  

Although members of Pink Floyd have performed with each other at solo shows and events, a full reunion hasn’t happened. Mason ― the only member of Pink Floyd to appear on all of its albums ― had always held out hope.

“I now believe when I’m dead and buried my tombstone will read, ‘I’m not entirely sure the band’s over,’” he told Rolling Stone in 2014. 

By last year, even Mason seemed to be losing that hope.

“I do not think you can wait for it,” he said. “I would love to be able to say yes, but I cannot see David Gilmour and Roger Waters working together.”

When Mel Neve founded her Facebook group Women with PTSD United four years ago, she couldn’t imagine it would swell to 17,000 members. She said it’s become a tight sisterhood, in which members share jokes and memes ― and offer each other advice about their most painful private struggles.

“We’ve laughed and cried with each other and bared our souls and done so much deep bonding,” Neve said.

She credits her peers for helping her understand how her lingering anxiety and depression are connected to her past traumas, including domestic violence, kidnapping and burglary.

When Neve heard about Facebook’s privacy violations, she wasn’t so concerned about her own data. But with Facebook users threatening to delete their accounts en masse over recently exposed privacy violations, she worried what would happen to her beloved community. Would the group start to lose members in the #deleteFacebook campaign?

That concern is shared by many administrators of Facebook’s wildly popular groups feature, launched in 2004, which offers support forums for many people struggling with health conditions ― from infertility to depression to cancer.

Even if Neve’s most loyal members stayed put, she feared that potential new members wouldn’t be on Facebook to discover her group, or that existing users would spend less time there and contribute fewer posts and encouraging comments. Earlier this year, company CEO Mark Zuckerberg said Facebook usage had dipped by 5 percent even before the Facebook backlash began.

“Facebook is a safe place for us,” said Neve, a speech therapist in Concord, Michigan. “I don’t even know what other kind of forum could reach this many people worldwide.”

So far, the exodus Neve feared hasn’t happened: New data this week shows that the social media giant’s membership has reached nearly 2.2 billion – up 13 percent from the previous year, according to the latest earnings report.

But Facebook group administrators have noticed that their members are increasingly worried about the privacy of their personal information and soul-baring posts. So while usage doesn’t currently seem to be at risk, Facebook users’ behavior might be changing.

Chrissi Kenkel, founder of the 33,000-strong Mental Health Awareness and Support group, said she’s noticed more members asking “Can my friends or family see what I’m writing?”

And Katharina Sucita, who runs the Weight Loss Support Group, which has more than 55,000 members, said members’ privacy concerns recently prompted her to make the group “closed” ― a designation that requires administrators to approve members and limits visibility to those inside the group.

“That way members would feel more comfortable sharing their personal stories and weight loss pictures without fearing their neighbor or boss might see them,” Sucita said.

It’s impossible to expect a true sense of privacy among 55,000 people, but users and bioethicists alike have lingering questions about Facebook’s use of data.

“How much of Facebook is truly closed?” asked Glenn Cohen director of Harvard’s Petrie-Flom Center for Health Law, Biotechnology and Bioethics. “How visible are your posts? Could someone take a screenshot of something you said and repost it?”

These new questions may be a good thing. Our deep desire to connect can lull us into a false sense of security, according to Matthew DeCamp, assistant professor at the Johns Hopkins Berman Institute of Bioethics.

“Over time, people become more comfortable sharing, and what could happen to their data isn’t at the forefront of their minds,” he said.

Although Facebook denies sharing the content of users’ posts or comments in closed groups, some people are wondering whether other kinds of health information could be at risk.

Last month, news broke that Facebook had approached several U.S. health organizations, including Stanford Medical School and the American College of Cardiology, about sharing anonymized patient data on illnesses and prescriptions to match it with data it had collected.

Facebook responded in a statement: “This work has not progressed past the planning phase, and we have not received, shared, or analyzed anyone’s data.”

The company separately told HuffPost, “We take protecting people’s privacy very seriously. We do not sell people’s data. Nor do we allow advertisers to target people based on health conditions or conversations on Facebook, including in Groups.”

Yet the social media network is constantly gathering other kinds of health information that’s valuable to advertisers, said Kirsten Ostherr, a digital health technology researcher at Rice University and author of a recent Washington Post op-ed on the topic. Examples include products or links that you “like,” your search history (like “breast augmentation surgery”) or where you’re logging on from, such as a cancer treatment center.

“You can start to see there’s plenty of information for a company to figure out whether you would be a good target for ads about their drugs and health products,” she said. Earlier this month, Facebook announced it was launching a feature to help users control the release of their info to third parties.

Cohen is also concerned about the possibility of so-called anonymized data being used for commercial reasons. Imagine what kind of connections future data miners could make based on your social media posts, fitness trackers, voting record, purchasing history and perhaps even genetic data.

“Whatever the risks are now, if there are no policy changes as more and more data about you becomes known, the risk of re-identifying you is only going to go up,” Cohen said, noting that this could affect your ability to get a job, health insurance or life insurance.

The European Union has been leading the way in changing the way companies collect data. Under a new law that goes into effect May 25, companies must ask if they can collect data and disclose any breaches within 72 hours.

Administrators say they hope future protections are in the works, because their groups serve a valuable function. Although mental health experts caution that online support networks are not a substitute for professional counseling, Dartmouth College researchers found they provided important peer support by creating a sense of belonging in a forum that’s free of social stigma. “Not only do you learn you’re not alone, you learn how other people are coping,” said Kelly Aschbrenner, assistant professor of psychiatry at Dartmouth’s Geisel School of Medicine.

Kathie Underwood, who lives in rural northwest Georgia and cares for her elderly mother-in-law who has Alzheimer’s disease, said she depends on the 13,000-member group Alzheimer’s Caregiver Support on Facebook.

“My mother-in-law might have a bad fall and be agitated or hallucinating, and there’s always someone who can tell me how to calm her down,” said Underwood, who is comforted by the fact that she can find a sympathetic ear, day or night, in any part of the world because of the Facebook group.  

Such groups have become an even more critical lifeline for smaller communities, such as Sandra Sermone’s 200-member group for parents of children with the rare disease ADNP. All that unites them is a diagnosis: The group is restricted to parents who recently discovered through genetic sequencing that their children suffer the neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by delayed growth and hearing, vision and digestive problems.

At ADNPKids, parents trade tips on where to find specialists, how to thicken water to prevent aspiration and how to advocate for their kids at school. They also strategize on how to get their children’s disease on researchers’ radars.

“Having a child with a rare disease is the most isolating thing in the world,” said Sermone, of Vancouver, Washington. “I can’t tell you what it’s meant to talk to other parents who are going through what I am. We found each other on Facebook.”

But Cohen notes that Facebook isn’t the only game in town, and predicts that other platforms run by members will grow in popularity over time. For example, PatientsLikeMe, a well-known patient support website, has more than 600,000 participants. And there’s no telling what other social media networks will develop their own groups.

Sermone said several U.S. foundations have approached her to start support groups, though she believes they won’t attract the same global audience.

These health groups fill such an emotional need that some members might not even care about their privacy, said Gail Weatherill, an administrator at Alzheimer’s and Dementia Caregiver Support.

“My thinking is that if these folks had to choose between giving up the group and printing their personal data on the front of The New York Times, they’d be hoping the Times uses a flattering photo of them,” she said.

CORRECTION: This article has been updated to correct the Facebook group that Kathie Underwood mentions.

He’s being hailed as a real-life Spider-Man. 

Mamoudou Gassama was caught on video on Saturday climbing a building in Paris to rescue a child who was dangling from a fourth-floor balcony. As the footage above shows, it took Gassama about half a minute to reach the 4-year-old and pull him to safety.

“I did not think of the floors… I did not think of the risk,” Gassama told Le Parisien, according to a translation by Nine.com.au. “I did it because it’s a child.”

Paris Mayor Anne Hidalgo called the 22-year-old hero “Spider-Man of the 18th,” as the rescue happened in the city’s 18th arrondissement (district).

“He explained to me that he had arrived from Mali a few months ago, dreaming of building his life here,” Hidalgo told the Guardian. “I told him that his heroic act is an example to all citizens and that the city of Paris will obviously be very keen to support him in his efforts to settle in France.”

On Monday, French President Emmanuel Macron met with Gassama, thanked him, gave him a medal and said he would become a naturalized citizen, per the BBC. 

The child’s parents weren’t home during the incident. The child’s father was held for questioning while the mother was not in Paris at the time, AFP reported.

UPDATE: This story has been updated with additional information. 

Katia Hills, a healthy 27-year-old married woman, said she was afraid to have another child after what happened the last time.

Before she got pregnant with her son in 2014, Hills was working at an AT&T store in Elkhart, Indiana, where her career was taking off. She was promoted to sales rep after just a few months. She loved her work selling cellphones and tablets. Her evaluations were good.

Then her managers learned she was expecting. The punishments piled up, according to a discrimination lawsuit she filed against AT&T last week in federal court. If Hills needed to go to the doctor or was late because of morning sickness, she was docked a “point.” Employees who lose enough points under AT&T’s system face the possibility of losing their jobs.

The points started adding up. At the same time, Hills observed that her nonpregnant colleagues did not get any penalties when they were late to work.  

“I was being treated a lot different,” Hills told HuffPost. “It was devastating.”

In an emailed statement, AT&T said it’s reviewing Hills’ complaint. “We do not tolerate discrimination of any kind, including for an employee’s gender or pregnancy.” The company noted it provides “generous benefits,” including various types of paid and unpaid days off and leaves of absence. 

Pregnancy and the arrival of a new child should be a time of joy and excitement, but for working women in the United States, it’s often a time of financial stress and uncertainty. Women who dare become mothers are subject to additional discrimination, bias and harassment.

Is it any wonder they’re having fewer children?

Last week, the CDC released a report revealing that the U.S. birth rate ― the number of babies born nationwide ― is the lowest it’s been in 30 years and is below the “replacement” rate needed to sustain the population.

One New York Times article said “social factors” explained the decline; women were putting off childbirth in favor of their careers, and an opinion piece on Friday blamed the patriarchy. Bloomberg said economic factors were the culprit. Conservatives blamed social media and pornography, claiming everyone is just having less sex. Fox News personality Tucker Carlson twisted his argument until he somehow pinpointed male immigrants as the culprit.

But all of these stories ignore a basic reality: Most women in the U.S., even before they get pregnant, know how little social support exists for them as mothers.

A shocking 88 percent of workers get no paid leave in the United States, according to the Labor Department. About 1 in 4 mothers go back to work less than two weeks after giving birth, according to a 2015 report. This often leads to devastating health outcomes for parents and babies.

Having kids often isn’t financially viable.

For low-income women, motherhood can throw you into poverty. For higher-earners, pregnancy knocks you off track for promotions and pay raises.

A clear wage penalty for mothers is also not helping. Even though more than 70 percent of families rely on a mother’s income, moms working full time earn about 71 percent of what fathers make, according to a March report from the Washington Center for Equitable Growth. That’s a full 9 points lower than the average gender wage gap.

“To the extent that some women would want to be mothers if it was financially viable, but don’t want to risk good careers or poverty, that’s not a free choice,” said Elizabeth Oltmans Ananat, an associate professor in the Sanford School of Public Policy at Duke. “Women are painted into a corner.”

Though the economy has recovered from its crash in the previous decade, the economic picture for many families has not. Wages are stagnant in the United States, despite low unemployment. A recent study from the Federal Reserve showed that 4 in 10 Americans don’t have an extra $400 for an emergency expense.

Ananat also points to rising levels of student loan debt, a weakened social safety net, a historically low minimum wage and a declining number of good jobs for less-educated women and men. Combine that with a lack of paid leave and “rampant discrimination” against mothers, and women like Hills are starting to think they can’t afford a baby.

“We’ve done better at getting these women access to contraception,” she said. “But we haven’t made it financially viable to have children.”

What’s more, as economic prospects for men have declined in recent years, women have increasingly become primary breadwinners.

Hills said she didn’t really think about any of these economic concerns before she got pregnant. She was shocked by what happened.

Despite racking up penalty points at AT&T, Hills was able to make it through to maternity leave, which the company does offer. But her boss made that rough, too. He called her a lot, asking when she’d come back; she spoke to him about returning part-time, for starters. He said he’d allow that, but only if she came back four weeks after giving birth. She declined.

The second day Hills returned from maternity leave, she was told she had accrued too many points and was fired.  

“I just felt shattered. I just saw so much potential with that company,” she said.

Women at every income level get punished for having kids.

Higher-educated professionals also fear motherhood, and not without reason: Women who become mothers are often viewed as less invested in work, even if there’s no indication that’s true.

Women who worked at law firm Morrison Foerster sued the firm this year for putting them on the “mommy track,” a road that leads to lower salaries, less prestigious work and fewer promotions. 

The suit alleges that when the women became mothers, the firm pressured them to work longer hours but also denied them assignments “because of stereotype-driven perceptions that they lack commitment to their jobs.”

“The stereotype becomes self-reinforcing, and women become stuck,” the suit said.

For reasons like these, female lawyers are 16 percent less likely than their male counterparts to have a child before their law firm makes a decision about whether or not they become partners, according to a yet-to-be-published working paper from economists at Wellesley College and the U.S. Naval Academy.

That means female lawyers delay having children until their late thirties, explained Nayoung Rim, one of the study’s co-authors.

The percentage of lawyers delaying childbirth is higher in states with fewer work-family benefits and higher reported levels of sexism, Rim said.

The study also found that mothers who did get promoted to lucrative partner positions were often far more qualified for them than their male peers ― indicating that mothers face a higher “promotion threshold,” Rim said. If you have a child, you must work even harder to overcome the stereotype that you’re not devoted to your work.

“They expect women to prove themselves even more relative to a man,” she said.

Rim believes the study’s findings can be extended to other high-demand careers, including in consulting and academia. They also help explain one piece of CDC data: The only age group that’s seen birth rates rise since the previous report is women ages 35-44.

For women earning low wages, there never seems to be a good time for parenthood.

Left with only one income to depend on, Hills and her husband eventually moved in with his parents. Their dream to buy a house went “out the window,” she said.

Two law firms and the American Civil Liberties Union are now representing Hills and another former AT&T employee who also said she was discriminated against. The hope is that more women will join the litigation and force AT&T to change its policy, which the suit says violates federal anti-discrimination laws.

“I don’t want anyone to feel what I felt in worrying about starting a family,” Hills said.

As her son approaches his third birthday, Hills and her husband have managed to move into an apartment, and she has a new job in sales. Still, she doesn’t feel safe enough for pregnancy.

“I’m scared to have a second child because of what I went through,” she said. “I wish I didn’t feel this way. It’s beautiful to have a family. Having a son is the most amazing thing, and I wish I could’ve enjoyed it with none of this extra stress.”

After he graduated from college, it took Nathan two years, three unpaid internships and six bartending and retail jobs before he got his first paid gig in progressive politics. His employer was a small, millennial-focused outreach nonprofit, and his job was to supervise four interns — young kids, fresh out of school, working the same day job/night job, 80-hour-a-week cycle he had just exited.

Nathan, who wouldn’t give his real name out of fear of retaliation, asked his boss if he could start paying the interns. “I didn’t think I was going to get them federal minimum wage — that’s impossible in Washington,” he said. “But at least they could get a stipend.”

His boss refused, without offering much of a case for why they couldn’t afford to pay them.

“It just wasn’t a conversation,” Nathan said. “I didn’t have the authority to push it because I was a low-level person.”

He felt complicit, and after a few months, he quit. He’s currently in grad school to become a teacher.

“I had a lot of hope that my party would not be slimy,” he said. “But that felt slimy.”

Nathan’s experience is emblematic of a growing concern on the left: For a movement that wants to reach young people, low-income workers and people of color, progressive organizations and candidates don’t offer many paid opportunities.

“This is why we see attrition in the movement,” said Maggie Thompson, executive director of Generation Progress, the youth arm of the liberal think tank Center for American Progress (which pays its interns, incidentally).

For decades, internships, fellowships and paid travel to conferences have acted like a tractor beam, drawing young people into political movements and holding them long enough to become researchers, strategists and candidates. But the funding to support those kinds of programs hasn’t kept up with the economic realities of the young people who today’s progressives are trying to reach.

“The pipeline of young people who can get through school, deal with student debt and stay involved in politics has shrunk dramatically compared to previous generations,” Thompson said.

Progressives aren’t just out of sync with their own need to recruit and retain young people. They’re also lagging behind conservative interests. A 2017 study found that between 2008 and 2014, conservative donors gave three times more to millennial outreach groups than liberal donors. Much of that funding, Thompson says, went to things like paid fellowships, travel stipends and study grants ― creating the feeder system that will guide young people into actual jobs with political campaigns and think tanks.

“The Republicans are building an army, while the Democrats are still paying you in ‘making the world a better place,’” said Carlos Vera, the executive director of Pay Our Interns, a watchdog group. “I’ve had older people say to me, ‘Well, I did unpaid internships and I was fine.’ Then you ask them when that was and they say, ‘1972.’ You could work your way through college back then. That simply is not the case anymore.”

Vera spent last year calling every lawmaker in the House and Senate and asking whether they paid their interns. His report, Experience Doesn’t Pay the Bills, found that more than half of Republican senators offered paid internships, compared to fewer than a third of Democratic senators. In the House it was even worse: Twice as many Republicans as Democrats paid their interns.

This year, Vera has been calling nonprofits and think tanks and asking them the same thing. So far he’s found the same pattern: Fox News, the Cato Institute and Americans for Prosperity pay their interns. The Progressive Policy Institute, Let America Vote and the Human Rights Campaign don’t.

Though harder to quantify than political donations, it appears that conservatives have built a recruitment, retention and leadership development apparatus that dwarfs that of the left. The Charles Koch Institute has an “associates program” that places young professionals in conservative think tanks and pays an average of $41,000 per year. The Leadership Institute, a conservative youth organization, offers interns free accommodation, free food, an $825-per-month stipend and a $200 “book allowance.”

Thompson is on the mailing lists for several conservative youth organizations, and says they feature “nonstop travel scholarships, fellowships and opportunities.” Her progressive lists don’t offer nearly the same volume of funded positions.

While some left-leaning think tanks do offer paid internships and fellowships, they tend to be less generous. EMILY’s List, for example, offers a stipend of “up to $300 per month, dependent on schedule,” but no housing. The American Civil Liberties Union tells internship applicants that “a modest stipend may be available if the student does not receive outside funding.” The New America Foundation offers course credits to its interns, which means they may actually be paying to work.

Republicans are more deliberate about college outreach

The most glaring reason for the left-right youth investment gap is the sheer scale of the conservative political machine. In 2016, the Heritage Foundation and the American Enterprise Institute both had revenues above $75 million. The largest progressive think tank, the Center for American Progress, had just $40.9 million.

Republicans are also more deliberate with their outreach on college campuses. According to its 2017 tax filings, the Leadership Institute held 355 trainings for conservative students last year. In 2015, Young America’s Foundation spent $13 million on lectures, conferences, seminars and outreach — more than twice the entire budget of Young Invincibles, its rough analogue on the left. Turning Point USA, whose mission is to “identify, educate, train, and organize” college conservatives, went from $79,000 to $4.3 million in revenue in just three years. 

Conservatives have also invested in youth-oriented news sources. These include the news outlet Campus Reform (sample headline: “Financial aid for illegals likely to cost NJ nearly $5M/year”), the blog Red Alert Politics (“A’s for liberal papers only: A conservative’s college experience”) and the viral video shop Prager University (“The Least Free Place in America”). They all focus almost exclusively on the dangers of political correctness and the threats to free speech on college campuses.

All this investment doesn’t mean, of course, that conservatives are winning the battle for millennial hearts and minds. Only 12 percent of young people considered themselves mostly or consistently conservative in a 2017 Pew poll, a 4-point drop since 2011. Progressive political organizations — as outlets like Campus Reform are always reminding us — still vastly outnumber conservative organizations on college campuses.

But these differences do demonstrate the structural challenge of building a left-wing talent pipeline. Progressives are spread across a huge range of groups and issues — income inequality, climate change, racial justice — and have fewer organizations explicitly dedicated to movement-building than conservatives. That makes it harder to prioritize long-term investments over short-term wins.

“The right is focused on the long game of investing in people when they find them on a college campus,” said Stephen Kent, the spokesperson for Young Voices Advocates, a nonprofit that, among other things, helps conservative students place op-eds in their college newspapers. “The left-leaning groups are working on whatever election is facing them in the next 12 months. Then all those connections die.”

Amy Binder, a researcher at the University of California, San Diego, and the co-author of Becoming Right: How Campuses Shape Young Conservatives, has spent the past year interviewing students at four large state schools. She sees the same trend.

“What the right is doing is creating a cadre of potential leaders,” she said. “When they’re on campus they aren’t necessarily doing the bidding of donors, but they’re getting to know each other. They’re professionalizing and socializing students. I don’t see that happening on the left in the same way.”

Losing talent, missing opportunities

While understandable given its constraints, the left’s challenges in movement-building are making it harder to transition from winning elections to making policy.

One veteran progressive organizer, who didn’t want to be named out of concern for losing donors, points out that winning elections is just one component of building political power.

“When you can’t get funding outside of that, you have to raise it elsewhere,” she said. “It’s a huge waste of time at a moment when statehouses are in session and we should be doing accountability work and getting laws passed.”

And that’s not the only missed opportunity. Nearly everyone I spoke to pointed out that this has created not just a generation gap in progressive groups, but racial disparities between the voters they are trying to reach and the organizations representing them. A 2013 study found that 88 percent of nonprofit staffers and 92 percent of CEOs were white. Another, in 2016, found that only 11 percent of nonprofit staffers were under 30. 

“We pride ourselves on supporting young people in our ideology, but then we don’t give them any options,” said Maxwell Love, a former president of the U.S. Student Association. He attended several left-wing political trainings as a student, he says, but there were few paid opportunities available. He’s watched many of his peers drift away from politics.

“We’re missing people at their most formative political years,” he said. “I’m blown away by all the people in student government who seemed like they would work in progressive politics and then boom, they’re working at Oracle or they’re a business consultant. I’m not going to blame anyone for doing that, but it means we can’t hold on to talent, especially working-class folks and people of color.”

The long-term ripple effects of this underinvestment are already visible. The average Democrat in Congress is 59.6 years old, almost four years older than the average Republican. The GOP has 23 senators under 60, compared to just 13 Democrats.

Love is now 27 and a Wisconsin-based organizer for Our Revolution, the continuation of the Bernie Sanders campaign. He says there’s nothing inevitable about young people remaining Democrats ― he meets many young conservatives in the course of his work.

“Maybe this isn’t a group we have on lock,” he said.

The fault in our donors

The lack of paid, entry-level jobs in progressive politics isn’t just the fault of Democrats or liberal organizations. Alexander Hertel-Fernandez, a political scientist at Columbia University, says the real culprit is donors.

He compares the largest donor networks on the left and the right, the Democracy Alliance and the network of political organizations known as the “Koch network.” They’re similar in a lot of ways: Both pool donations from wealthy donors, vet recipients and seek to pull candidates closer to their causes.

Where they differ are their structures ― and their effectiveness. Hertel-Fernandez points out that since 2012, the Koch network, despite its lack of formal structure, has become more centralized and hierarchical. It gives to the favorite causes of its founders, billionaire fossil fuel moguls Charles and David Koch, and, increasingly, to organizations they control directly. Freedom Partners, one of the Koch network’s largest nonprofits, concentrates the majority of its giving on just eight organizations.

The Democracy Alliance, on the other hand, has moved in the opposite direction, giving smaller donations to a wider range of charities and delegating control to its members, according to Hertel-Fernandez’s research. The Democracy Alliance did not respond to a request for comment.

“It’s hard to steer the ship of progressive donors,” Hertel-Fernandez said. “All of the folks participating in the Democracy Alliance have their own favorite issues and strategies. They come in with a set of organizations they’re enthusiastic about. In the Koch network, you’re signing up to support the Kochs’ agenda.”

The way this difference manifests on the ground is in the balance between united, general funding versus activity-specific and project-based funding.

Sarah Audelo, executive director of the Alliance for Youth Action, a consortium of youth-focused member organizations, says most of her donors want data and metrics on how their donations are spent. For some projects, they pay per door knock. That’s understandable ― who doesn’t want their donations to be spent efficiently? ― but it also means she has less room for experimentation, and less flexibility to hire staff and capitalize on the youth activism spreading across the country since 2016 on issues like immigration and gun violence.

“Since Parkland, we’ve got tons of young people engaging,” she said. Her groups want to scale to meet the demand, but donors don’t always want to provide the resources to hire enough full-time, paid staff.

“You can’t manage contacts and track legislation with only volunteers,” she said. “In some places, we’re literally turning away young people who are great candidates for interns and fellows because we don’t have the capacity to give them a positive experience. Progressives shouldn’t be turning away young people in states like Texas.”

Hertel-Fernandez says the strategy conservative donors have employed — get large and stay large — is part of what’s allowed conservative mobilization groups like Americans for Prosperity to mobilize so quickly around opposing Medicaid expansion, restricting public sector unions and pre-empting cities from raising the minimum wage.

“They’ve made strategic investments,” he said. “Americans for Prosperity is organized at the local, state and national level. If you want to affect politics in the United States, you have to organize at all of those levels. They’ve moved the party further and faster to the right than progressives have moved the Democrats to the left.”

Things are changing

Katie Kirchner, deputy director of the Roosevelt Network ― the campus outreach arm of the Roosevelt Institute, a progressive think tank ― says progressive organizing has always been an uphill battle.

“Conservatives are looking to reinforce existing power structures, where we’re looking to change them,” Kirchner said. “They have a strong funding edge, but they’re still losing the moral fight in the long run. Millennials are progressive.”

She says things are changing. Many of the largest progressive organizations have started paying their interns. The Roosevelt Institute offers a part-time fellowship that pays community college students $750 a month to organize on their own campuses. NextGen America, one of the most rapidly expanding progressive groups, is currently offering paid fellowships all over the country. Love says Our Revolution pays its interns $3,000 for the summer.

Still, if progressive organizations want to build a movement that attracts and reflects the demographics crucial to their success, a much larger swath of them will have to offer something beyond 80-hour weeks, three-figure stipends and bartending side gigs.

Thompson says her first job in politics was knocking on doors for a living wage campaign in Minnesota. Her student aid paid her a stipend, and borrowing her parents’ Corolla allowed her to cover more ground. 

“Eventually, I got to work for Barack Obama,” she said. “But what it took at the beginning was an $1,800 stipend and an old car.”

Originally published on Motherly

By Katie Novak

When my oldest son, Torin, was born, I had an idea of when he should take his first steps, say his first words, and identify the diggers in My Big Truck book. Every time he did not meet a milestone, I worried. Why wasn’t he pulling himself up yet? When would he say his first word? How does he not know what an excavator is?

This same child really understands people. When I was watching “Steel Magnolias” with a box of tissues, he crawled on my lap and rubbed my back. Strangers fell in love with him at the grocery store with his huge gummy smile, and at play dates other children naturally gravitated toward him, pushing action heroes into his hands as he smiled and babbled.

What was a mother to do? My answer: Take a deep breath and a warm bath. All our kids have amazing strengths, and when we acknowledge them, we realize that all our kids will be okay.

Now that I’m a mom of four little ones and an educator, I embrace the concept of “variability” and so I’m able to let go of those pesky comparisons and celebrate all my kids and their strengths.

The universal truth is that all of our kids have a unique mix of strengths and weaknesses from the time they are babies. That magical combination, and their own individual timeline, is what makes them who they are. That is variability, and it’s a beautiful thing.

Milestones were defined for the “average” toddler — someone who does not exist. All of our kids have strengths and are wildly intelligent in different ways. Certainly, they may need support to build some skills as they have weaknesses (as we all do!), but it’s a lot easier to build skills when strengths are applied to that journey.

One way to appreciate the concept of variability is to understand the theory of multiple intelligences. Dr. Howard Gardner, a renowned professor at Harvard University, proposed eight different types of intelligences because “intelligence” is far too limiting a concept. When we realize all the different types of strengths our kids have, it can help us to celebrate our kids and push the milestones to the back of our minds.

Instead of worrying about what our kids can’t do (which is so tempting!), it’s important to celebrate how they are incredibly smart in their own ways! You may have a child, for example, who struggles to meet a walking milestone, but is incredibly empathetic and is able to connect with people. Being “people smart” is a talent that should continue to be fostered and valued, because it’s a skill that will take them far.

Related: The milestones you didn’t realize would matter—until they did

So, what are the eight intelligences?

1. Linguistic and verbal intelligence (good with words)

These babies talk early, experiment with language by babbling and making up songs and stories, and are early readers. They love telling stories and listening to stories read to them!

As an example, my husband’s name is Lon. When my daughter, Aylin, was less than a year old, she saw a lawnmower and bounced around screaming, “Daddy mower, daddy mower.” She continues to have a way with words and at 6 years old is experimenting with sarcasm (lucky me).

2. Logical intelligence (good atmathand solving logic problems)

Maybe your little one isn’t talking yet, but he’s a phenom at puzzles, putting together huge block structures, and figuring out how to get his paci from on top of the refrigerator. If this is true, you’re probably raising a future engineer who will always be able to use that intelligence to think critically and solve problems.

3. Spatial intelligence (good with pictures)

Do you have a little artist on your hands? These little ones love drawing and they recognize where they’ve been when you’re on a walk (“That’s the blue house we saw with the little squirrel yesterday!”). These pumpkins also love looking at picture books and family photos.

4. Body and movement intelligence (good at sports and movement)

My son Brecan was an early walker (he walked at 9 months, and his twin sister didn’t get off her bottom until 15 months!), rode a bike without training wheels at two, and has a running gait like a marathon star. His balance is exceptional, and he picks up sports easily. You may have a child who isn’t a reader yet, but he’s a star at Lil’ Kickers Soccer. Good for him!

5. Musical intelligence (good at music and rhythm)

Is your little lady a star in your music together class? Does she make instruments out of pots and pans and love to sing songs in the bathtub? If so, she’s probably a budding Mozart with a gift for music. Foster that as you’re working on the skills that may not come as easily!

6. Interpersonal intelligence (good with people and communication)

When I was little, my mom used to say that I could talk a dog off a meat wagon. These kids are just good with people. They are outgoing, can converse with strangers, and are probably never upset when you drop them off at daycare because they have so many friends to play with. They are our charmers!

7. Intrapersonal intelligence (self-smart)

Some kids are great at reading their own emotions and thinking deeply about them. They are reflective and introspective and always know when they are sad, mad or embarrassed and why. While many of us work to help our kids understand their feelings, some kids are naturally aware.

8. Naturalist intelligence (nature smart)

Does your little one stop to look at bugs? Love playing in the mud? Is she always pointing out the window to go outside? If so, she probably has a strong naturalist intelligence and loves to garden, hike and roll in the leaves.

So tonight, watch your little one play and consider his or her strengths. Know that these strengths will allow him or her to overcome obstacles and be successful later in life.

More from Motherly:

• 5 parenting lessons I learned as a Montessori teacher
• It’s science: only-children are more likely to be creative thinkers
• 25 phrases to inspire confidence in your child

Many hotels promise guests a one-of-a-kind hospitality experience, but for the most part, they tend to offer the same standard fare. 

Still, if you’re looking for some more out-there accommodations for your next trip, the options do exist. From converted airplanes, trains and silos to ice caves and buildings made of salt, here are 35 truly unusual hotels from around the world.

Originally published on Motherly

By Erin Leonard

As a child therapist, the most common complaint I hear from parents is, “he just won’t talk to me.” Feeling estranged from your own child is painful, and it has implications for the child. Research indicates the most important predictor of a child’s emotional and psychological stability is the closeness of the parent/child relationship. If a child is not opening up when they are upset, the relationship may not as close as it needs to be.

There are two habits that parents’ routinely engage in that shut down communication and drive a child away: negating feelings and mistaking sympathy for empathy.

Sympathy vs. empathy

When a child is truly in distress because they feel hurt, disappointed, worried, or angry, they desperately need their parent. Yet, often, parents don’t want to see their child feeling negatively, so their first instinct is to tell their child not to feel the way they do. Before they think, statements such as “don’t be disappointed” or “don’t be mad” escape. This results in the child feeling ashamed of how they feel, compounding the hurt. Moreover, the knowledge that their parent does not understand, leaves them feeling alone, which is detrimental. Basically, the child learns that opening up about how they feel makes them feel worse.

Statements to avoid:

• Don’t worry.
• Don’t feel that way.
• Don’t be disappointed..
• Don’t be like that.
• Don’t be mad.
• You are too sensitive.

A better idea is to empathize. Honor their feeling. Feelings are never wrong, it’s what kids do with feelings that can get them in trouble.

Examples of empathy include:

• That’s a big worry. I get it.
• You are upset. I would be too.
• You have every right to feel disappointed. I felt like that when I was your age.
• You are mad. I understand. You have every right.
• It hurts to see someone do something you want to be able to do, but can’t yet.
• You are mad. I’m sure you have a good reason. I want to hear about it.

After you give them a solid dose of empathy, the child feels understood and connected to you, which means they immediately feel better, and will want your help in problem solving. In many cases, the empathy is all they need to feel better. Simply knowing their parent understands, allows them to feel secure and forge ahead.

In addition, just because you empathize with how your child feels, does not automatically mean you are condoning bad behavior. For example, my son came in the door angry last week. He slammed the door and threw his coat down. I said, “You are mad. I don’t know why, but you probably have a very good reason, and I want to hear about it, but you can’t throw your coat. Go pick it up.” After he picked up his jacket, he immediately came to me and told he was upset about conflict he got into with a friend.

Empathy wins

Here’s how it works. Empathy creates good Vagal tone in a child’s brain and immediately calms them. After the empathy, they settle down and can logically think through problems with you. They also feel understood and close to you which allows them to forge ahead with a sense of security.

No parent wants a child who feels sorry for themselves, plays the victim, or is over dramatic, and maybe that is the fear that prevents a parent from being empathic, however, honoring their child’s feelings is actually what prevents a sense of entitlement or a victim mentality in a child. Sympathy, on the other hand, disrupts any chance of emotional attunement and tempts parents to enable. The parent saves and rescues their child from negative feelings instead of helping them work through difficult feelings.

For example, on the way home from hockey practice one night my eight-year-old son Jimmy said to me, “Mom, I was the worst one tonight. I’m the worst one every night. I barely got put in.”

Now, I have two choices, the sympathetic response or the empathic response.

1. The sympathetic response: “Poor guy, Im going to call your coach and talk to him. I don’t think it’s fair that he benches you for most of the practice.”

2. The empathic response: “That hurts, kiddo. It hurts to feel like you’re the worst one. I get it. I’ve felt like that a lot in my life. It stinks. Keep at it. It will get better.”

In essence, the sympathetic response, tempts us to enable and ask that the rules be changed or concessions be made for our child, which teaches them to play the victim. Also, it requires no emotional investment on the parent’s part because the parent becomes the powerful saver and rescuer which strokes the parent’s ego. It is the easy way out.

The empathic response requires the parent shift from how they feel, to how the child feels. It’s emotional attunement. It’s the parent remembering how it feels to be the worst one at something, so they can relate to their child. It’s selfless and it puts the child first, emotionally. When there is emotional attunement, the child feels understood, and connected to you, which allows them to feel secure and more able to forge ahead and try again. Empathy creates a rugged work ethic and resilience in a child. The child will thrive on adversity instead of breaking down when negative things happen. Empathy creates brave and strong human beings.

Stay close to your child. Empathize and empower. The reward will be priceless.

More from Motherly:

• How empathy (even during meltdowns!) can actually teach your kids to do the right thing
• How to teach your toddler empathy
• How to parent with more empathy + grace

Alarmed by the sheer quantity of plastic clogging our oceans, the European Union is mulling ambitious new rules that would reduce or outrightly prohibit many everyday single-use plastic items.

The proposed measures, unveiled Monday by the European Commission, the EU’s executive arm, target the top 10 plastic products most often found on Europe’s beaches.

Some of these items — like plastic straws, cotton buds, plates and disposable cutlery — will be banned completely under the new rules, which require the approval of the European Parliament and all 28 EU member states. For other products, like plastic bags and food containers, producers will be required to help cover the costs of waste management and clean-up, and member states will be obligated to raise awareness about the negative impacts of using such items.

EU countries will also be required to collect 90 percent of single-use plastic drink bottles by 2025. Improved waste management of abandoned and lost fishing gear, which accounts for almost 30 percent of Europe’s beach litter, is also mandated in the proposal.

“Plastic can be fantastic, but we need to use it more responsibly,” Jyrki Katainen, a European Commission vice president, said in a press release announcing the draft rules. “Single-use plastics are not a smart economic or environmental choice, and today’s proposals will help business and consumers to move towards sustainable alternatives. This is an opportunity for Europe to lead the way, creating products that the world will demand for decades to come, and extracting more economic value from our precious and limited resources.”

According to CNN Money, it could take three or four years for the rules to be enforced. But if they are, the European Commission said the measures are expected have a profound financial and environmental impact.

Consumers would save about $7.6 billion per year, 30,000 jobs would be created and about 3.7 million tons of carbon dioxide emissions would be avoided by 2030, the commission said.

It added that though the rules are expected to cost businesses over $3.5 billion annually, companies also stand to benefit from the new measures.

“Having one set of rules for the whole EU market will create a springboard for European companies to develop economies of scale and be more competitive in the booming global marketplace for sustainable products,” the commission said in a press release. “By setting up re-use systems (such as deposit refund schemes), companies can ensure a stable supply of high-quality material. In other cases, the incentive to look for more sustainable solutions can give companies the technological lead over global competitors.” 

This will also mean more sustainable choices for consumers, said Frans Timmermans, the commission’s vice president.

“What this means in practice is that you won’t see single-use plastic cotton buds on your supermarket shelves, but ones made with more environmental friendly materials instead,” Timmermans told The New York Times. “The same will go for straws, drink stirrers, sticks for balloons, cutlery and plates.”

“You can still organize a picnic, drink a cocktail and clean your ears, just like before,” he said. “And you get the added bonus that when you do so, you can have a clear conscience about the environmental impact of your actions.”

Environmental groups have lauded the EU’s proposal as a significant step in the right direction, though some have suggested the rules don’t go far enough. 

The plastics industry is expected to push back against the proposed regulations. Plastics Europe, a trade group representing European manufacturers, criticized the proposal, saying in a press release that “plastic product bans are not the solution” and “alternative products may not be more sustainable.” 

A MAC cosmetics makeup tutorial video for Ramadan has sparked some debate among Muslims online ― and, perhaps unintentionally, ended up highlighting how differently the holy month of fasting is celebrated around the world. 

MAC Cosmetics Middle East, a regional branch of the New York–based company, published a video on its social media last week that proposed a makeup look for suhoor, a predawn meal eaten during Ramadan before Muslims begin the day’s fast. 

After eating suhoor, Muslims observing Ramadan refrain from eating and drinking from until sunset, when the fast is broken with the iftar meal. 

In the makeup tutorial, MAC makeup artist Mariam Khairallah demonstrated a custom look for the holiday. In a video titled “Get Ready for Suhoor,” she applies eyeliner, eyeshadow and mascara on a model. 

“You’re only a few steps away from your glamorous gathering look with friends & family!” the company wrote on the Instagram video.

Ramadan is a very social month, and many partake in the festive spirit by gathering at parties to break the fast with friends and families. But some pointed out that while it’s common to dress up for the evening iftar meal, many usually eat suhoor in their pajamas, scarfing down food hurriedly in the dark. In New York, the meal is typically eaten before 4 a.m. 

Some Muslims took to social media to share how their experience of suhoor is not nearly as glamorous as MAC makes it out to be. 

But others pointed out that it’s not at all uncommon for Muslim women in the Middle East to get done up for suhoor. In some Arab countries, businesses adjust their schedules around Ramadan. Companies allow employees to work shorter hours. Shopping malls stay open late into the night. And restaurants offer predawn buffets that start in the evening and last way past midnight.

So it’s possible that with its makeup tutorial for suhoor, MAC Cosmetics Middle East was targeting a very specific demographic.

HuffPost reached out to MAC and to Khairallah for comment but has not heard back.

Aisha Gani, a British Muslim who currently lives in the Middle East, tweeted, “It’s almost impossible to believe, but glamming up in the Gulf for your pre-fast meal at 2 a.m. is a thing.”

Others chimed in with their experiences of Ramadan in the Middle East. 

Amani Al-Khatahtbeh, an American Muslim author and the founder of Muslim Girl, told HuffPost that the makeup tutorial caught her attention because she hadn’t seen the beauty brand publish videos featuring veiled Muslim women before. She said she would have liked to see the company publish a tutorial for Muslim women outside the Middle East.

“I think it was confusing for many Muslim women to see a formal makeup look being publicized for suhoor, even though it has become a social gathering for some Middle Eastern cultures,” she wrote in an email. “The thing is that not all Muslim women are Middle Eastern — actually, a minority of them are — so I would love to see makeup tutorials representing Muslim women that aren’t just marketed to the Middle East.”

The aftermath of the storm was deadlier than its landfall 

The survey found that the significant increase in deaths in the months after Hurricane Maria was mainly a result of interruption of medical care, with about one-third of households reporting such issues — including accessing medications (14.4 percent), being unable to use respiratory equipment because of a lack of electricity (9.5 percent), having no open medical facilities nearby (8.6 percent) or having no doctors at medical facilities (6.1 percent).

Nearly 9 percent of households in remote areas said they were unable to reach 911 services by phone. 

Dr. Irwin Redlener, the director of the National Center for Disaster Preparedness at Columbia University in New York, said he knows the numerous health struggles people face after a disaster.

“I think people gravitate towards how many people were killed immediately from drowning or falling debris,” he said. “But the reality is, the much, much bigger problem is the long-term inability to get to medical care or the inability to get the medical devices or medication that people need to survive — so, people who are dependent on electrical-powered medical devices like ventilators or who need their medication every single day so their diabetes or high blood pressure doesn’t get out of control.” 

The average household went over 2 months without power and water

After Hurricane Maria, Puerto Rico’s decades-old power grid was devastated, leaving millions of residents in the dark. For months, access to drinking water and plumbing was compromised by a lack of electricity ― conditions that prompted health concerns over bacterial disease outbreaks, among other fears.

A lack of power can be dangerous for people with chronic conditions who rely on electrically powered medical devices or must have a functioning refrigerator to store medicines such as insulin. 

And the Harvard study found that, on average, households went 84 days without electricity and 68 days without water. Many respondents were still without power at the time the survey was conducted, from Jan. 17 to Feb. 24 this year. 

Older Puerto Ricans stayed behind while young adults left their homes

In the wake of Hurricane Maria, a historic number of Puerto Ricans have migrated to the mainland to escape deteriorating economic and day-to-day conditions on the island. The Harvard study found that 2.8 percent of sampled households’ residents were reported to no longer live there. The majority moved elsewhere on the island, and 41 percent went to the mainland. 

The median age of those who left their households and did not return or were missing was 25. Those who stayed in the household or died had a median age of 50.  

Alice Thomas, a climate displacement program manager for Refugees International, said the organization witnessed these patterns while visiting the island four months and six months after the hurricane hit.  

“It was very obvious from what we saw on the ground that the people who were being left behind were mainly the elderly,” she said. “We visited a number of households in different parts of the island, both remote and close to San Juan, where it was essentially older people living in a house that didn’t have electricity [or] potable water.”

Older people are more likely to suffer from chronic conditions, which often require regular management and may limit their mobility and ability to migrate or travel long distances for treatment. 

“There were people who had chronic illnesses — including Alzheimer’s, hypertension, high blood pressure, Parkinson’s ― and they were living traumatized by the storm itself,” Thomas added. 

She said her group’s workers met many people who were poor and did not have health insurance to help pay for what few resources were available. 

The study likely included a dramatic undercount of suicides 

As it stands, data from the study included only one suicide. The number linked to Hurricane Maria is likely much higher, since the government’s count includes at least four suicides and separate figures from the government have shown a spike in suicides in the aftermath of the storm.  

Balsari said the team on the ground consisted entirely of psychology students who had been working on mental health outreach in these communities for a while. 

“They did find that the prolonged suffering, interruption in their utility services for several months and the interruption in medical care was taking a toll on a higher burden of mental health morbidity,” he said. 

Dr. Rafael Irizarry, another researcher in the study, chimed in to say he suspected that if the study’s sample size had been larger, they would have seen more suicides. 

The death toll estimate is conservative and likely much higher 

Researchers said their estimate of additional deaths from Maria is probably an undercount. “The death rate appears to be constant after September all the way up to December,” Irizarry said in the conference call. “There’s no reason for us to believe that all of a sudden that trailed down after January.”

Eight months after the storm, many Puerto Ricans are still without power or reliable access to health care ― a deadly combination for those who remain on the island, particularly in the face of the 2018 hurricane season, which begins Friday. 

“This is not the end of the story,” Redlener said. “I think there’s every reason to worry that the numbers will climb significantly higher because there are still people without access to the health care they need.” 

We now pronounce you wizard husband and wife. 

“Harry Potter” actor Matthew Lewis, who played Neville Longbottom in the eight movies based on the magical book series, wed girlfriend Angela Jones in Italy over the weekend. 

The British actor announced their nuptials by joking that he missed a performance of one of his favorite bands in Los Angeles, while he was tying the knot in another country.  

“Not only did I miss @ArcticMonkeys in LA but they were performing in Italy at the same time we were there and my wife made me get married instead. Fuming,” he captioned a stunning photo of the couple on their wedding day. 

He posted the same photo to his Instagram account, but he added a British and American flag in the caption, as Jones grew up stateside in Florida. 

Fellow “Harry Potter” actor Tom Felton aka Draco Malfoy congratulated his co-star in the comments of the post, writing, “Top lad xx.”

The couple reportedly met while she was working an event at the Wizarding World of Harry Potter theme park in Orlando, Florida, and began dating shortly after in July 2016. Months later, they were engaged with Lewis apparently popping the question at the Eiffel Tower in Paris, France.

See? No love potion required for a happy ending. 

CORRECTION: A previous version of this article misstated where Jones grew up. It was Florida, not Pennsylvania.

With so many food blogs, cookbooks and Pinterest boards, it’s hard to be original with your recipes these days. Fortunately, a group of preschoolers are proving that creativity in the kitchen is still possible. 

Twitter user Jordan Adams shared some hilarious and adorable snippets from his nephew Ethan’s pre-K class cookbook, which features recipes the preschoolers had to come up with themselves. 

Needless to say, the recipes are ... very imaginative.

“Ethan’s Eggs” curiously doesn’t list eggs as an ingredient, but the recipe does call for pancakes, sugar and Skittles, which can apparently be purchased at Texas Roadhouse. And while the prep time is a full hour, the dish only requires two seconds of actual cooking. 

“Ariana’s Macaroni” also calls for some interesting ingredients, including apples, strawberries, toys, a backpack and a doll. 

Thankfully, everything only costs about $2 in total. 

Ariana’s instructions are also very detailed, noting: 

The oven has to be hot like fire…like a candle…like for birthdays. Now you need to tell everyone that its time to leave. And I have to leave because I am going to a party with a swimming pool. My sister says, “Why do you go to the swimming pool?” and I say, “Because I like it.” Now I go home and I am waiting for it not to be hot and then my sister says, “Why do you do that?” it’s because you blow on the macaroni so it wont be hot. You need to wait. Now its done!

The “Joe’s Tacos” recipe takes readers on a journey, as it shifts to a different meal entirely in the instructions. 

As the preschooler states repeatedly, he really does not want to make tacos anymore. 

First I don’t actually know, I really don’t remember anything. Can I change this to cheesy roll ups? Because they are super easy. There is only 3 stuff you need, white cheese, yellow cheese and tortilla. I don’t even want to make tacos anymore. I don’t even know how. It is too hard to think about tacos. But I can make cheesy roll ups. They are super easy. They come from Taco Bell. I need yellow cheese and I don’t know where to buy the white cheese. I don’t know how to make tacos. Cheesy roll ups are better because I know how to make them. Let me think…one time I made candy and it turned brown. I don’t want tacos anymore. I like them, but I love cheesy roll ups more. I don’t like beans because they make me throw up. My mom made me eat a burrito one time with beans and I threw up. Wait…I know how to make watermelon it is easy…just buy the watermelon and eat it.

And then of course there’s “Sebastian’s Pancakes,” which contains only one ingredient: salt. Sebastian also included an important reminder about dishes. 

Adams told HuffPost he came across the cookbook at his sister’s house earlier this month. Ethan’s class had compiled the recipes as a Mother’s Day gift project, and each child brought one home. 

“When I started to read it, I just started to laugh at how silly some of the recipes were. I thought to myself, ‘Damn this is some comedy gold,’” Adams recalled. “Like, only kids could think of these responses.”

The proud uncle said his personal favorite is, of course, Ethan’s egg recipe. 

Adams’ tweet received nearly 180,000 likes and more than 73,000 retweets. He told HuffPost he wants the kids’ creativity to bring joy to others. 

“All I hope is that people smile after reading this. Kids are just so funny, and their thoughts are so pure that, that is how they come up with such funny and imaginative responses,” he said. “But yeah, overall I just hope people laugh and smile at it and it makes their day a little bit better.”